


KARAOKE

by takewaelel



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: AU, Contemporary AU, Corrections are welcome!, Drunken Flirting, Erehisu, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff and Smut, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Karaoke, Mikasa goes to straight, Mikasa or goddes of sales, Minor Mikasa Ackerman/Eren Yeager, Public accountant Reiner, References to Depression, ReiKasa, Reiner is a Mess, Romantic Friendship, Run! your ex is here!, Tags Are Hard, Unrequited Love, but enjoy, karaokes are amazing, my english is bad, reiner x mikasa - Freeform, three-shot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-15 05:49:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 25,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29184315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/takewaelel/pseuds/takewaelel
Summary: After a breakup, Mikasa ends up in a bar where she meets the most delightful and melancholic drunk who will make her go on stage to sing karaoke.
Relationships: Mikasa Ackerman/Eren Yeager, Mikasa Ackerman/Reiner Braun
Comments: 10
Kudos: 52





	1. Heavy Waves

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not a native english speaker so I may have a lot of mistakes! Your corrections would help me a lot. Thanks~

The day had been exceptionally exhausting, her clients didn't even let her rest to eat lunch, her feet ached and she was sure that she would need to soak her swollen feet in warm water and put some bandages on her feets. feet of it. She could not bear the pain, wearing those new heels for the committee meeting was a bad idea, however the day wasn't difficult due to the pain in her feet and how productive she was in the real estate company, but had officially arrived in her hands Sasha and Niccolo's wedding invitation. She would be happy for the event but it only undermined in her heart an immense sadness for her recent break with Eren who, now, would be a father along with Historia, one of her closest friends of hers.

The news of her had hit her like a train: unforeseen, fast and hard that she totally pulled her out of the world of order and stability of hers that she had slowly built after her breakup with Eren. The news had left her in shock since even in the bottom of her heart she hoped that he would seek her and they would start a relationship from scratch, but now all hope was foolish.

She always knew. Eren only had eyes for Historia. They were both the same, they both couldn't bear the idea of living like everyone else or as everyone else said. They understood each other more than Mikasa could understand Eren, it didn't matter if she had done her best to get closer to him. It was not in her destiny to be with him forever. However she wasn't ready, she never was but now she had to face what it was always there and that left her totally exhausted.

The news that Eren and Historia would be parents had come through Connie's mouth that he could not keep the secret that Armin, Jean and Sasha had jealously guarded weeks ago. Mikasa held back the tears, enough not to make Connie feel even worse, who was beaten to death by Jean who ran to support her but she just wanted no one to see her cry so, with that stoic look on her face, got standing up, told everyone she was fine and needed to rest so she grabbed her bag and went out onto the street where she took the first taxi that passed.

She wanted a drink.

She arrived at the nearest bar in the area where she would remove her heels at the bar and have a cocktail, two or three drinks, ask for the bill, pay, put her shoes back on and leave the bar to order a taxi or a travel service of application. She would arrive safely home and in the course of it she would accept the failure with the person she loves the most in the world; but when she entered the bar, she noticed that everyone who gathered there was unusually quiet and then got up from their seats and grabbed the open mic and sing karaoke.

She looked at the shiny bar signs.

**[Drink and Sing] [Karaoke for drunk friends] [Sing for other drunks and you will get a free shot]**

An unusual bar. Mikasa felt a bit gratified by this surprise that although it didn't lift her mood but it did make her feel a little more comfortable in an environment in which she didn't usually enjoy even with friends.

She heard applause and some cheers from customers who gathered next to the small stage that was adorned by the pixelated images of the video projector, the main lights were turned off and only the small warm lights of the floor and the bar remained. Mikasa dropped into a seat by the bar, her bag on the next seat. She crossed her legs and looked around with a serious gaze, quickly surveying those who gathered at the bar and noticing that most of the customers were men in suits with their briefcases at the side, visibly tired from the day's work. The other percentage were young adults who met with friends at this bar to sing karaoke.

Despite the fact that it was barely 10:06 at night, most were already somewhat drunk and in the mood so high when a man in a coat went up to the small stage.

The bartender came over and Mikasa asked for a Black Russian that he recommended. She looked at the man who took the microphone and started talking to the sound man, asking for a specific song.

The sound man nodded; all the customers who had applauded the man now fell silent and took a big swig of their drinks, letting themselves be carried away by a sad but tropical melody that flooded the bar. The projector reproduced an infinite loop of the gentle movement of the waves on the dark wall, turning the warm lighting into a cold and very tender atmosphere.

The drink reached her hands and she quickly directed it to her lips, feeling the heat stroke of the vodka in her throat but the cold feeling on the sweaty glass, letting herself be carried away by the guitar and bass duet of the karaoke track that was beginning to play.

She focused on the wall where the lyrics of the song will be reflected. [Heavy Waves by Motorama.](https://open.spotify.com/track/6nk1JuxsAZzxuQdqvyBkZI)

The man who came on stage had done it with his glass, just like Mikasa, he barely got off work, his mismatched suit, loose tie and shirt off his pants revealed much of his physical exhaustion. With a poorly shaved beard, short but tangled hair along with a tired look made the black-haired woman wonder if this man came to this bar every day after work.

He was tall, maybe just a little shorter than Jean, but he certainly had a much broader, stockier build than she could see him from the table. Blond, a dull blonde, similar to dry wheat.

That man brought the microphone to his lips, standing, almost turning his back to the audience to reach to read the lyrics. Mikasa turned her gaze to the bartender who was cleaning the glasses a bit caught up by the simple melody. She would hear that man sing while she finished her cocktail and as soon as he finished, she would leave or so she thought when a voice took her out of her thoughts.

[ _Goodbye my past,_ ] The lyrics pierced her chest.

[ _Here comes a vague taste_

_Of bitter future._

_Very strange taste_ ] That man of no more than 30-40 years sang the chorus releasing the microphone a little from his grip, moving his torso from one side to the other in time with the song, a small smile escaped his lips.

[ _Heavy wave from immense loss_ ] he waved his arm, his smile widening as he felt stupid but drunk enough not to stop.

[ _Heavy wave from a weird dream where I am_

 _Forever alone, forever alone_ ] He was waving his hands from side to side, the projector reflecting on his heavy constitution the loop of the moving waves.

Mikasa couldn't help but mimic him with a small smile as she let the track take over her in that sad but light movement. Mikasa swallowed the last of her cocktail but she didn't stop seeing that uninhibited man who danced awkwardly with his empty glass in one hand and a microphone in the other.

[ _Goodbye future..._ ] Without seeing the lyrics, he approached the edge of the stage, dedicating a glance to everyone. Mikasa was surprised to see him look towards the bar.

[ _I stayed in my memories_ ] The man sang, not specifically seeing anything beyond the memories of him.

[ _Goodbye future,_

 _I'm done with it._ ] He sang with a gloomy joy in his voice that hid a sadness very well that didn't go unnoticed by Mikasa that she felt it so personal. Those lyrics, the deep voice hoarse from alcohol and ice of that office worker was only an incentive for her to order another cocktail from the bartender who smiled happily when he saw her interact at the karaoke bar.

The chorus began again, the blonde stopped reading the lyrics completely and began to dance foolishly to the clamor of the applause of the other drunks who toasted him from their seats, happy and somewhat dazed by the depressing song he selected to animate the party of those who sold their soul and body to work that destroyed them every day in the offices. Mikasa hesitated to clap when she saw the blonde make a silly attempt at Hawaiian dance, he clearly didn't know how to dance and his drunken state only hampered his movements. He danced like this until the last verse of the song arrived.

 _Forever alone, forever alone…_ ] With both hands he held the microphone as if his life depended on it. He brought it as close as possible to his lips, repeating the same verse for 7 times without stopping, his voice breaking more and more to the point of not knowing if he was crying or just he wanted to sink into the microphone, in front of everyone who was now yelling at him to sing something more cheerful or to come over to their tables and have a drink together.

Apparently all the regular customers already knew him.

" _Forever alone, forever alone..._ "He ended with his eyes closed, the microphone on his lips, hunched over and a little dizzy.

"Braun, stop being a fagot and sing something more lively!" An equally drunk office worker yelled. Mikasa saw him answer the name and smile like a small apology, he left the stage and handed it to the sound man.

Mikasa couldn't take her gaze from that man named Braun and less when he approached the bar with a heavy gait. Their eyes met but he only sat two seats next to Mikasa, leaned back at the bar and ordered another drink.

"Do you want me to ask you for a taxi?" The bartender offered, who quickly filled the blonde's glass.

"No, not yet, today I want to drink a little more." The blond replied, sitting up, struggling to stay upright. "Thanks, Benny." He thanked the friendly bartender who seemed to know him for many nights like these.

Mikasa looked at the microphone that was placed on a table near the stage, free for anyone to take it.

"You're going to sing?" He asked, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye, in a warm voice as if he didn't want to scare her by asking a question out of nowhere. Mikasa bit her lip and looked him in the eye. Gold eyes and platinum eyes met, they gently looked at each other, although they were two seats away, they didn't miss the opportunity to try to memorize each other's face. "You sure have an amazing voice." he added, bringing his glass to his mouth but he never sipped the alcohol, he just smiled a little for Mikasa who blushed instantly. It wasn't even a smile that was meant to be flattering or conquering, it was just a small welcoming smile, a sweet welcome.

He drank deeply and exhaled when he finished, releasing the heat from the dried rum. He straightened up, took his wallet from the inside pocket of his coat and called the bartender who came over, but before he spoke, the blonde handed him some bills in his hand.

"I invite." The blonde spoke, looking at Mikasa that was going to protest. "If you come back, let me hear you sing." He took the briefcase that was on the floor, adjusted his tie and with a quick movement, stood up and with a simple thank you, left the bar. One of the hosts took him by the shoulder and escorted him to the street to take a taxi. Mikasa couldn't help but watch him go, a bit uncomfortable with what had just happened. She wasn't sure about coming back, but he made her a little curious.

"Every Saturday he comes, drinks, sings and leaves." Unveiled the bartender while he winked at her. "We wait for you." He offered her a big smile as he handed a glass of water. Mikasa took it, thanked in a small whisper. She wasn't going back but the place was a bit nice, plus there were free drinks.

…

During the week, Mikasa only thought if she would go to that bar or as always she would leave work, take the subway and go straight home. On Sunday she had planned to go with Sasha, Hange, Mina and Hitch to a cafe to have the last preparations for the wedding and also, to finally choose the color of the bridesmaids' dress, which she had the honor of being together with the last three, however, she wasn't entirely happy with going out to the cafe.

Mikasa was sure the girls would take up the topic about Eren and she didn't want to be rude to them, so, without much encouragement, she took the subway and got down 5 stations before the one that always got off to get to the city's bar district that doesn't it was far from the business area.

Mikasa got off the station, looked at the sea of men and women in suits, mingled with them. Mikasa only wore a long beige skirt with a jacket and a red scarf around her neck, low heels because she didn't want to end up with sore feets, wishing she could wear more comfortable clothes to go drinking. It was only 8:23 a.m. and it seemed like many just finished their unpaid overtime workday.

She walked the streets guided by her smartphone and when she was finally at the entrance of the place, she read: Drunken Sing. It wasn't very original but it was fun once you got to know the atmosphere. She entered the bar accompanied by the host who approached her to a table near the stage.

She looked for the blonde but when she didn't see him. Mikasa wondered if she had come for him, fulfilling his request that she will sing. She ordered a shot of tequila, she would sing a song and comply with that drunk's request, so she would leave. She wouldn't feel indebted to the stranger who didn't even come and perhaps he wouldn't come.

The shot of her came and so did the blonde.

He entered well uniformed, a black suit with an olive green tie, well-polished shoes and a dark scarf loose across his abdomen, his briefcase seemed to vomit papers.

Mikasa smiled upon seeing him enter with a serious and very noticeable tired look. Dazed, he smiled at her. She quickly tore her gaze away from him and looked at her drink but he was already coming in her direction.

"I thought you weren't coming". He said in front of her table, with that small smile that caused Mikasa a soft blow on her chest. A smile full of tenderness.

"I don't like to owe people." She replied, hiding her face from him, she felt hot and that she hadn't drunk her tequila.

"Well then you will sing." He looked at the table and after he sought the look from her that Mikasa finally had to give. Surprised at how drunk he could be not to notice how pretty she was, the blonde took a chair. "Can I sit with you?" The black-haired woman only nodded, recovering her unchanging face.

A waiter arrived and took the order from the blond who asked for a bottle of tequila, an extra shot glass, and lots of lemons and salt. "We started out tough." The black-haired woman commented.

"I only accompany you with the drink." He replied looking at the brunette's shot of tequila.

When the bottle and tray of lemons and salt arrived, the blond man poured a full shot that went straight for his throat. Mikasa just opened her eyes in surprise, she was by far an expert drinker but seeing him drink tequila like water was a lot for her, although seeing him eat the lemon like a sweet mango left her speechless.

"Won't you drink your shot?" He asked.

"Uh... not really." She replied, looking at her shot glass.

"Try it with the lemon, loosen your throat." He approached the tray with the lemon and salt. Mikasa looked at the lemon and determined, not knowing why she really did it, she took the shot glass, licked a little and swallowed. Her throat closed, she got hot and not knowing how to alleviate the burning with lemon, she looked embarrassed at the blonde who rushed to take a lemon with salt and brought it to her lips. She bit down and felt the coolness enter her mouth, took the man's arm and sucked on the lemon.

A lemon had never seemed the most delicious in the world.

He pulled his hand away from her. Mikasa took the lemon and continued to suck, relieved, enjoying the taste of tequila for the first time.

"Sorry." He said. If he had known that the black-haired woman was a newcomer to the world of alcohol, he wouldn't have prompted her to do so.

"Don't apologize, I wanted to try." She defended herself, blushing that a stranger fed her with a lemon but she soon recovered from her blush and turned her gaze to the blonde who served himself another shot, a little ashamed of the same. Mikasa frowned, what was this all about? She silently watched him drink again.

"Do you want another?" He brought the bottle closer to her shot glass, Mikasa just nodded. "Try to drink it at once." He said to her once he filled the fine glass. Mikasa took the drink and drank it all at once and with a quick slap on the table she put the glass on, took the lemon and sucked quickly. Red, she could feel her cheeks burn. She let go of her neckerchief a little, without taking her gaze from the blonde who served her another drink. Mikasa couldn't refuse when himself brought the drink to her and she took it and swallowed hard again.

She didn't know why she did it, she didn't know why drinking those cups made her feel excited, felt her chest rise and fall, her cheeks burned and her throat felt a little numb.

On her fourth drink, Mikasa felt light and even more so when the blonde who drank twice as much of her began to laugh quietly out of nowhere.

Mikasa understood the magic of alcohol and tequila, especially tequila and salty lemon.

He took off his tie and jacket, untied a few buttons of his shirt so that he could breathe more freely, already dizzy, he asked for another bottle. Mikasa took off her jacket, rolled up the long sleeves of the shirt to her elbows and ditched the annoying heels, staying in the cream-colored stockings. They laughed as they drank and sucked the lemons like popsicles. They didn't say anything, they just drank, looked at each other and laughed like stupid until a regular who sat next to them yelled at the blonde to sing something.

"Reiner, sing for your friends!" Said a bald man wearing the suit from some nearby factory, but Reiner shook his head a bit embarrassed.

"This lady will sing for me." He communicated pointing to the black-haired woman that as soon as she felt everyone's gaze, she composed herself and adjusted her hair like a tic. Flushed, she looked at this man called Reiner and then watched as everyone began to incite her to come up on stage, including the bartender who applauded with a big smile.

She adjusted her neckerchief and without putting on her heels, she stood up, took the shot that Reiner offered her and went up on stage, took the microphone that the sound man gave her, Mikasa took the opportunity to ask for a song that she has been listening to lately in the radio. A song called: [Do it by Dlina Volni](https://open.spotify.com/track/6YQd8nuFKoRx3JoB3G2BKI)

The projector turned on and images of a red telephone were projected onto her slim figure and onto the wall. She glanced at that blond man who showed her a wide smile in response, her name was Reiner… she still didn't tell him her name. She drank the shot now masterfully, grateful to that drunk, she raised her skirt a little and thought about her ex. Yes, she was here because her ex hadn't only broken up with her but would now be a father with another girl, a friend of hers.

The music began to play, the MIDI chase and the eighties effect echoed throughout the bar that turned off the main lights to give prominence to the black-haired woman who stood for the first time in many years on a stage to sing. She wanted to sing that song that she didn't choose at random.

She left the glass on the stage, bending her knees to the audience who when they saw her crouching with her skirt shouted excitedly, the song seemed very provocative.

Since when is she this cheeky? She remembered that she was only like that with her ex...

She took the microphone with both hands and looked at the audience, she knew the lyrics so well that she ignored the karaoke lyrics. She turned her gaze to the blonde who was looking at her with those sad golden eyes and Mikasa felt she wanted to sing with much more longing, just as he did the first time she came to this bar.

She took a deep breath:

[ _Been trying_

_To crash the wrong party_

_On my last day_

_On earth._ ] She sang in a relaxed voice as she slowly climbed to her feet, her skirt being folded over her left leg, causing most to stare at that little exposed skin. Reiner just got lost in that light and adorable, very adorable voice.

[ _Been wanting_

_To catch you on an outing_

_But you're running away_

_From my call._ ] Mikasa raised her gaze to the ceiling, thinking of that emerald-eyed man who had broken her heart countless times but still loved.

[ _'Cause if you wanna call me, Do it now._ ] She wiggled her hips a little in time to the MIDI, feeling the lightness of the alcohol and the lyrics.

[ _If you wanna~_ ] she looked at the blonde just because she felt his gaze on her, completely forgetting the noise of her thoughts. [ _Do it now..._ ] She approached the side of the stage near her table where he could see how she slowly crouches down until she ends up with her knees on the floor while repeating " _Do it!_ " with much enthusiasm the chorus of the song.

Wishing Eren could hear her. Mikasa was still waiting for him to come back to her house, to look for her at her job. She still expected at least one call from him and that without a doubt she would answer.

She still couldn't get him out of her heart, she even wondered if one day she could, however, she felt comfortable seeing that stranger laugh as an accomplice to her mischief, the woman who wouldn't stop moving provocatively on stage while he brought to her another drink, his drink.

Mikasa took the small glass, accidentally touching his fingers. They looked at each other briefly but the black-haired woman as soon as she held the drink, brought it to her lips, softly kissing the glass: tequila and a strange taste, the saliva of that stranger who tasted lemon, then she drank the intoxicating liquid and returned the empty drink to the blond who applauded when he saw her smile with a strange heaviness.

She sang the same verse and when she got to the choir, she just dedicated herself to thinking again about what it had brought her to this bar. A repetitive and unhealthy thought about that man she loved so much and who was moving away from her in every word, every second here, singing for drunks with her already drunk, flirting with a man who surely also came to calm his sorrows in alcohol and in silly pop songs.

When she finished, Mikasa looked at the customers who shouted for more, applauded her without further ado and many offered her free drinks that she tacitly declined. She still with the microphone in her hand came down from the stage, she walked directly to her table where he was waiting for her with a warm smile.

"I knew it." He spoke once she sat down.

"What?"

"You have an incredible voice." More than a compliment, he meant it as an obvious truth. Mikasa only smiled slightly, the blush rising to her cheeks. This man looked a lot like Eren. Eren never complimented her but he always noticed what she was and what she could do, making her see it at every moment; the only difference was that this citrus-scented blond said it with a tenderness that was hard to reject. She gave him a heavy look and handed the blonde the microphone, now confused.

"Sing and I'll tell you my name." She exchanged without knowing why she wanted to play with this man.

"And a drink?" He asked curious, definitely the only one who was flirting was her, he only wanted alcohol. Mikasa puffed out her cheeks, a bit annoyed but she liked that sincerity so she just nodded. "I'll show you how to get everyone down." He said between joke and truth.

She watched him go up on stage, asked the sound man for a song that was surely melancholic, its name clearly said it: [Sleepwalking Man by Sivert Hoyem](https://open.spotify.com/track/5y8vWKsOjVZXtdgi8xkaCD) and the karaoke began to play, the projector showing a video of the city in black and white. As soon as the music started, Reiner began to sing in that deep voice that came from his diaphragm, clear and measured.

[ _I love the ocean too_

_How it's painted green and blue_

_In my recurring dreams of you_

_Oh wake me not, Oh wake me not..._ ] He sang feeling each word, his chest didn't stop moving when he felt he didn't breathe because of the emotion of a song he heard when he couldn't fall asleep. 

[ _We're better when we're fast asleep_

_When you raise me from my fragrant sheets_

_It's that innocence I want to keep._ ] He went on to the next verse, moving only his head to the slow rhythm of the guitar and piano.

Mikasa threw herself on the table, it wasn't the best voice but that passion was enough to make all the drunks, including herself, stay in their seats while they finished their bottles, hypnotized by the melody and by the office worker who let himself go on the stage of the karaoke closest to his work.

[ _Find me sleeping on my feet_

 _The most delightful man you'll ever meet._ ] He gave Mikasa a look who almost choked on the lemon in her mouth.

[ _And there's nothing that compares to him_

 _To your own sleepwalking man~You know I wanna be on your side_ ] He swallowed from the glass quickly. [ _Part of me just wants to run and hide_ ] He continued, the alcohol had given a harsher touch to his voice, a touch that pierced Mikasa's chest.

[ _People scare me more than pain you know_

 _Let's walk into the fray again._ ] He gave her a small smile and then saw the others present who raised their glasses in honor of his last words. He accompanied them with a drink and came from the stage to Mikasa's table who was looking at him in silence and with the glass on her lips wet with alcohol.

They didn't know each other but they could taste in each other's eyes the pain and loneliness they have been struggling with. The gaze of that man named Reiner was tired and dejected by the guilt of a painful past, her gaze full of love that never reached its destination, desperate to give all that overwhelming affection to the one who had made her moving forward but that she no longer knew how.

[Will you grace me with your presence here?] Mikasa felt her cheeks burn, she wasn't the only one flirting a bit. [ _... In the sanctuary of the night._ ] He continued but stretched his arm to Mikasa, asking her to give him a drink from that small crystal glass that her lips had stained with the shiny balm lip of her. She immediately stood up to hand him the glass. He took it in one swift movement and ran his lips slowly across the glass, surprised to find the grape flavor with the tequila very delicious.

Mikasa found herself running her tongue over her lips as she saw him place those lips on the same glass, as if they were sharing a playful indirect kiss that only ended with him singing what was left of the song:

[ _I'd rather be a sleepwalking man_

_I want no power or command_

_Oh wake me not…_ ] And he continued with the chorus until he finished. The track continued but the lyrics had finished so he took advantage of that minute on stage to thank the drinks, hand the microphone to the sound man, go down and return to the table with that woman with delicate features and black short hair, thus gleaming her thin neck that she adorned with a neckerbrief.

He cursed himself, he was already drunk, so much so that he found his new drinking partner attractive.

He sat down and handed her the glass. "I'll order another bottle, you can still stop and avoid a hangover." He advised her, but Mikasa looked at him silently, she could with another two bottles by herself, proud.

"You are getting late." She challenged, Reiner smirked, realizing that this woman was dangerous and he liked that.

When the fourth bottle arrived, they were both already reeling from drunkenness, Mikasa had already introduced herself and even gave him a real estate business card that he kept in his pocket. He also introduced himself to a "Reiner Braun, the star drunk of this place." although later he added that he was a public accountant.

"I didn't comment on it, but..." he started, taking a big sip from his shot. "That song, was it dedicated to your ex?" the brunette stared at him in silence with those penetrating silver eyes that from one second to another the tears fell shamelessly down her cheeks, crying uncontrollably and with the bottle on her chest.

"I'm so stupid ..." she said between tears. "I still have him on my lock screen" and she took the smartphone out of her bag to show him the aforementioned wallpaper. Reiner only swallowed with difficulty. "Every night I wait for him to call me... I don't care if he's going to be a father with another girl." Reiner choked on his saliva.

"When did you guys finish?" He asked.

"Three months ago." she answered accurately, wiping her tears.

"And the baby is on the way..." He couldn't finish but Mikasa understood where he was going.

"Three months." And the tears fell shamelessly, again. Reiner sat next to her and comforted her a little, stroking her back with one hand while with the other he drank from the bottle they already shared.

"A child doesn't define a relationship." he wanted to encourage, "Look at me, I met my father at 18 and he disowned me a second time." It didn't help much.

"Eren wouldn't get her pregnant and he would run away, and if he did I don't think I could love him anymore... or not like before."

After that and a long silence, they both talked about work, music and their shameful pasts and all because Mikasa brought up the topic that she was a goth in high school, Reiner looked at the photos and said with a laugh that although it wasn't his kind, she seemed like a very pretty goth. Mikasa turned red and demanded that he show her pictures of him in high school, but he only had one picture, one that he took out of his purse.

In the photo was a very tall boy with a brown skin in a navy blue sweater and him in a red flannel shirt and denim. He was much more robust than he was today. Mikasa chuckled, Reiner admonished her, telling her that she was the weirdo for wanting to talk to crows. They laughed, they made fun of Mikasa's ex, they clapped like seals when another drunk came up to sing, they devoured the remaining lemons and took each other's backs, the tequila made them dizzy.

After they couldn't get the alcohol in their systems, they both just figured it was time to go. Mikasa called the waiter, asked for the bill.

"I brought my car, but I don't think you want to die in a traffic accident... because I do." The blond said taking out his car keys but as soon as he showed them, the bartender took them from his hands. Mikasa was only surprised by Reiner's reaction that puffed out his cheeks, how could he be so masculine and at the same time so adorable?

"Mr. Braun, I'll order a taxi for you. " Benny solved. "Miss, do you want us to order a taxi for you?" He went to the black-haired woman who was beginning to touch the blonde's cheeks.

"Please." She answered with the blonde's cheeks in her hands.

"Any direction?" Asked the friendly worker.

"My house." she stressed.

"Do you have an ID that you can provide us with?"

"Yes, in my bag." she didn't let go of the blonde who was starting to laugh like a vile idiot. Benny had never seen him laugh like this.

The bill arrived and they paid in equal parts, left the bar and waited on the sidewalk for their taxis. They couldn't stop laughing, they didn't even know what they were laughing at but it added more fun to their wobbly worlds where they had to cling to each other so as not to end up painfully on the ground.

It was already after 2 in the morning.

Mikasa felt how alcohol made her immune to the cold, but also because her drunken friend took her with the wide arm from her back to hips.

She watched him silently, if he came over and kissed her she wouldn't object but he never did… just like Eren, she had to if she wanted those lips on hers but before she did anything crazy a taxi came. Reiner released her and walked over to the taxi to find out whose was.

"Mikasa, it's yours." He opened the door and Mikasa got into the taxi still surprised at what she was trying to do. "Thank you, Reiner." she couldn't see him in the eye.

"Let me know when you get home." he requested with a gallant smile.

"You don't have my number and I don't have yours." Mikasa remembered him as she closed the taxi door. "But," she was a determined and brave woman, she had to try. "If you want to know if I get to my house, why don't you come and see for yourself?" she bit her lip although if she expected to look sexy she only made Reiner and the taxi driver laugh. The fucking taxi driver.

"Huh? Better give me your phone number, you silly. " Yes, he is just as dense as Eren.

"Advance." she demanded to the taxi driver, angry at the damn parallels with her ex. The taxi driver laughingly stepped on the gas, leaving the confused blonde behind.

…

The next morning Mikasa woke up returning the lemon and salt in her toilet, took hangover pills and was grateful that that blonde was a bit silly catching her hints or that she was very bad at being provocative. Whatever it was, she was happy not waking up with an inveterate alcoholic who had karaoke and tequila as therapy. She would be lying that she didn't have fun and that she feels so much lighter after crying for over an hour about her ex with that blonde who also brought his childhood traumas out.

In her underwear and no bra she looked at her empty room and snorted, wishing her room wasn't so big.

She took a quick bath, texted Sasha, and got ready to meet the bridesmaids and bride at the cafe and discuss the latest wedding details. Wearing a black strapless bra she donned a loose pearl silk shirt, black shorts, white socks with black heels. Something casual but also chic. She had left her gothic past behind but black was her favorite color. No makeup except a little lip gloss.

With a bag slung over her shoulder, Mikasa headed to the cafe using an app service. She was the first to arrive, she ordered an espresso on the rocks and checked her email as usual while she waited for them.

"Mikasa!" Called a redhead and future bride cheerful. Sasha appeared in cute navy blue overalls with a yellow t-shirt. She sat in front of Mikasa, gave her a big smile in gratitude for waiting for her. "Glad you came, Hitch mentioned you weren't coming."

"I cannot miss the preparations for your most important event, Sasha." She responded with a small but sincere smile.

"Mikasa, sorry for hiding about Eren and Historia." Sasha took her hand in her, genuinely sorry.

"You didn't do anything wrong." She gently removed her hand from her. "Just focus on your event, okay?" she wanted to smile but only a forced curvature came out of her lips, Sasha did not bring up the subject again and she would have to beat Hitch if she mentioned something about Eren.

The afternoon passed normally, Hitch arriving without touching on the subject of Eren, not when Hange stepped on her new shoes with those dirty boots. They only talked about what was missing, the dresses and the floral decorations, so they arranged that next sunday they would go to look for the dresses in a shopping center.

As she waited for her Uber, Mikasa couldn't help but think about the blonde, would he be stuck in the toilet vomiting everything he drank? Would he still sleep? What will he do when he is not drunk or singing? She regretted not giving him her phone number.

…

Saturday came and at the office Mikasa couldn't wait for the workday to end, in the week she had learned a song that she wanted to sing at karaoke and she wondered what depressing song he would sing.

She spent the day humming joyful her new favorite song, yes, a song by [Florence + The Machine](https://open.spotify.com/track/1w9ta1CvXlJPRXh6Py2Mto), so much so that Levi, a distant relative and her superior reprimanded her but Mikasa didn't care, she never really did when it came to Levi who scrutinized her with his eyes for a few long seconds and then leave like nothing. He wouldn't tell that brat that he was glad of her for seeing her in a good mood even though he was worried that the reason for her good mood was that idiot Eren. He let it pass, she was already an adult, she could handle her stupid things.

At the end of the day, Mikasa was the first to leave the office; she grabbed her jacket and ran to the subway station where, yes, at the station where she had to get off to get to the bar, she found him descending from the south platform. They looked at each other in surprise but without saying anything they walked together to the bar and once inside, they ordered only one bottle and drank the first two drinks of it.

"Mikasa, you first." he pushed her a little on the stage, she came up on stage and with her hands sweating, took the microphone. She felt close to flying, comfortable singing next to these compulsive drinkers, in front of that accountant who leaned in his arms to see and listen to her comfortably, delighted to see her there, standing on stage.

The music started and Mikasa felt rebellious and passionate as she had done in her puberty.

[ _I'd already had a sip_

_So I'd reasoned I was drunk enough to deal with it_

_You were on the other side, like always_

_You could never make you mine_ ]

[ _And with one kiss_

_You inspired a fire of devotion that lasts for twenty years_

_What kind of man loves like this?_ ] She sang often, with that passion and delicacy in her voice that seemed to break for a moment.

Suddenly the guitars played in unison with the percussion of the drums in the background, from sad ballad to wild rock. Mikasa started jumping, shaking her head, she had been on stage many times as a good goth.

[ _To let me dangle at a cruel angle_ ] She was almost screaming, her eyes closed, holding the microphone as if it were her own cross. [ _Oh, my feet don't touch the floor._ ]

[ _Sometimes you're half in and then you're half out_

 _But you never close the door_ ] Those present applauded, shocked and happy by so much energy and strength in that woman. Reiner stood up, clapping to the beat of the drums, laughing as he watched her waste so much energy, so much that it was contagious even for a depressed like him.

[ _What kind of man loves like this?_

 _What kind of man?_ ] She wondered more than what she was singing.

Applause. Bottles were raised for her, free drinks came from everywhere but she only took the one from the blonde who approached with a wink inspiring enough to keep singing that song that could spit in her ex's face.

[ _You do such damage, how do you manage?_

 _Trying to crawl in back for more_ ]

How many years had this heavy and suffocating love carried? Since when did loving him tire her and hurt her so much? Why did she try so hard not to let him go?

Tears fell to the stage, she still wanted to see those emerald eyes when waking up and sleeping, but now, all she had was the varied sea of eyes that looked at her and among that sea of colors, only golden eyes stand out from the rest. Warm and overhelming.

She sang the chorus through tears of spite and indignation. Everyone howled for her, inspired to sing her lyrics with her even though most were men.

_"Oh mercy," I implore_

_How do you do it? I think I'm through it_

_Then I'm back against the wall._ ]

Without singing the chorus, Mikasa came down from the stage, took the glasses that were offered to her on her way to the table that she shared with the blonde who was waiting for her with the glass on high.

"I proclaim you as the drunken star of this bar, Mikasa!" Mikasa fell to the seat and began to cry, she wasn't drunk enough not to realize that she still loved her ex and wanted to flirt with this man who only offered her alcohol and karaoke as consolation.

"Reiner," she gave him her smartphone unlocked, the blonde looked at her confused. "Call Eren and tell him you love me..." she said with the tears still on her cheeks, staring at him steadily and decidedly. Reiner dropped his glass.

"Uh?" was the only thing he answered.

"And tell me how he responds to that." she begged. Reiner only smiled bitterly, took the smartphone, looked for Eren's contact who still had heart emojis and blocked it. Mikasa gasped, Reiner wrote his phone number.

"Better, when you want to call him, call me and we meet here to sing a duet." He handed her the phone. "And please remove that wallpaper, that scares the guys too." The black-haired girl looked at him with contempt, Reiner began to sweat nervously, but somehow they ended up at the bar laughing next to Benny who served them all the cocktails on the menu.

Reiner at one point ended up crying on the bar, hunched over as Mikasa struggled not to unblock her ex, hugging the blonde's broad back. Beny just thought of a popular saying: God creates them and they come together. What a drunken mess.

Completely losing consciousness, the last thing Mikasa knew was that it was sunday, her cat hadn't eaten anything at night, that she had to go try on dresses with friends, she reeked of liquor and vomit, she had Eren blocked and Reiner had made her go up on stage with him to sing an Elton John song while they danced drunk.

She took a long shower, took more hangover medicine, stroked and fed her kitten named Ymir, a gift from Eren for his 28th birthday. She dressed the first thing she found, took her smartphone and read the message from an unknown number... "Reiner" and opened it.

[Mikzsa, yo finw?]

2:57 am.

[i takw yor nimber]

2:59 am.

[gril, yo also have the pofile picture with yor ex, wtf]

3:03 am.

Mikasa began to laugh, he was more expressive in the messages than in person although she didn't like the fact that he spent almost 5 minutes reviewing her profile image.

[btw good night :2]

3:03 am

[:3*]

3:04 am

Mikasa looked at Reiner's profile picture, it was him with a young girl hugging him with a huge smile. Large and expressive eyes, brown hair and dark complexion. They were both smiling at the selfie she took, Reiner was looking at her, with an indescribable affection that made Mikasa feel some envy. Was she a relative? W-was she his daughter? Now that she thought about it, was Reiner single? Did he have a family? Maybe he was a single parent or a widower. Curious, she wrote.

[Still sleeping?]

[The girl in your profile, is she your daughter?]

1:12 pm.

Mikasa almost jumped when she saw that he appeared online, her messages were read and he immediately started writing.

[I wish I was sleeping.]

1:13 pm

[How old do you think I am?]

1:16 pm

[40?]

1:17 pm.

[*sad emoji*]

[Thanks, now I feel worse.]

1:17 pm

[I will turn 30 in a few weeks]

1:18 pm

[2 years older than you]

1:19 pm

Mikasa saw that he was writing but from one moment to another he disconnected and although she waited for him to appear online again, he didn't and Mikasa locked the phone, a little annoyed, didn't answer her question, but without insisting, she returned to her task: Go out with the bridesmaids looking for a suitable dress for the wedding.

There were no setbacks, although she was a bit dehydrated she was able to try on more than 7 dresses with Mina, Hitch and Zoe. Hitch was very picky and Zoe seemed fine with any dress even if they weren't her style. Mikasa along with Mina had no problem with dresses but they definitely didn't want to look like a pink cupcake so Mikasa took command and decided that coral would be the color of the dress that is sheath style with a V neck neckline so as not to stand out too much while the shoes everyone would use as they wanted because Hange insisted on wearing sandals while Hitch asked for 12 cm heels, so the heels only had to be the same color.

Mina was the first to separate after her measurements were taken, she had an issue to resolve with Thomas, they were happily married and with two beautiful children. Zoe did the same when she saw Moblit show up with her personal agenda for the next trip to the savanna. Hitch stayed a while looking at the dresses, asking Mikasa to accompany her to the nearest shopping plaza for a coffee.

"Mikasa, do you already have someone to go to the wedding with?" Hitch asked already in the cafe as she straightened her hair and looked at her with those usual frivolous eyes. Mikasa let the poison pass at her question and sipped the vanilla milkshake, calm.

"Nobody." She answered.

"Oh come on~," she whimpered, shaking her feet. "Why are you so boring?" She made a face of annoyance.

"All my friends will go, it is not necessary and it does not make sense." She sipped the milkshake harder which made Hitch look with distaste. A notification came, she looked at her phone and when saw who she smiled catty, stood up, grabbed the bag. "Well Mikasa, things came up and now I have to meet with... someone." she smirked, kissed her cheek and left the cafe.

Mikasa sighed, always the same. She finished her milkshake, took the bags and headed out of the mall but the image of a group of 4 teenagers and a tall, broad blond man captured her attention.

She watched in surprise. The four teenagers were talking and laughing with popcorn and drinks in their hands, leaving a movie show together with that blonde who was accompanying her at karaoke; he carried candy, gifts and the jackets of teenagers who told him their impressions of the film. There was that young brunette, she took him by the arm, smiling at him every moment.

Mikasa hid herself in a store advertisement.

Reiner looked happy, somewhat stunned by all the attention of the four teenagers who were pulling him from side to side. She saw them enter the ice cream parlor, then to the video games area, Mikasa smiled a little, was he the babysitter of those teenagers?

Reiner stayed there, let the four boys go have fun at the Arcade, took out his phone. Mikasa felt her pocket vibrate, it was her phone. She took it out and looked at a message, it was from him.

[Sorry, I was a little busy.]

6:44 pm.

Mikasa looked at Reiner's direction, there he was, standing and carrying things with one arm. He was wearing blue jeans with a hideous gray wool sweater. A gift from his mother or grandmother. She looked at herself, she was only wearing black dress pants with a white shirt with a baggy sweater with slippers.

Likewise, why was she hiding herself?

She came out of her hiding place, looked for him with her eyes and not finding him, she took a few steps tentatively and distractedly she collided with someone. She pulled herself together and quickly apologized with a little bow.

"Mikasa?" The man asked in a voice that Mikasa recognized instantly. She straightened up feigning surprise, she swore that these situations only happened in the dramas that Sasha forced her to see. Their gazes met and he smiled back. Mikasa felt her chest burn, excited out of nowhere.

"What a coincidence." She spoke monotonously, hiding that joy that held her breast.

"I actually thought I saw you and I walked over." Mikasa saw that smile widen and she swore to feel her heart beat faster which made her wonder if it was the aftermath of alcohol.

They both sat on one of the benches in the mall, in silence and not really knowing what to say.

"Do you come often?" He asked as he watched the Arcade Center from afar, vigilant.

"No, I came with a friend." Mikasa looked at him, seeing him sober and wearing casual clothes took away those years of more than he appeared.

"Shopping and girly things?" He looked at Mikasa's bags, bags that had ornaments, slippers, and some other garment that she liked from the clothing stores.

"We got together to buy the bridesmaid dresses. My best friend's Wedding." She didn't know why she talked to him too much. "Those teenagers, relatives?" she asked.

"Only one of them, the other three are her friends." he crossed his arms and sighed. "They are good kids." he turned a bit so he could see her in the eyes, "Gabi, my cousin, got the best score in the shooting record as a cadet in the militia, we are celebrating." His face turned grim, his voice very serious. "She wants to be the best sniper in the country."

"So, all of them…" she looked at the four boys playing on the shooting machine.

"Yes, they are cadets in the military school." he looked away from her, a little embarrassed. "They want to be like me, but there is nothing good about being me."

He stood up, looked at the sky, licked his lip, sighed a little and with a smile he saw Mikasa again. "Sorry, I ...," he laughed nervously.

"It's okay." She said quietly. "The war in the East was tough." Her voice was clear and flat, she didn't want to comfort him with false sentimentality.

"I was given incapacitation 5 years ago." Although he failed to add that due to a psychological problem, his physical condition was intact. "Did you know that there are quotas for veterans in institutional government positions?"

"Yes." She listened attentively, getting a little closer to him like when he heard her cry at karaoke.

"I honestly chose accounting because I didn't want to study a Bachelor's degree for more than 3 years, my coworkers hate me for taking the job away from someone more competent. I don't blame them." He leaned on his knees, feeling his side being pressed by Mikasa's shoulder who was looking at the sky, listening carefully. "I had a college scholarship to play in the major football leagues but I turned it down to join the military."

"If you could work on something now, what would it be?" Mikasa did her good to hear him speak, he felt comfortable with her, talking about those boys who had fun in video games had made him very sensitive, so sensitive that Mikasa believed that if he talked too much, his words could cut him off. Her fingers lightly touched his thigh, pressing just enough.

"Teacher." They looked into each other's eyes. Mikasa smiled, touched, he was a giant with his heart exposed to the world. Sensitive to everything and everyone.

"Your?"

"Astronaut. I want to fly... " She looked up, looking straight at the sudden sunset clouds. "Fly too far from here." Reiner looked at her silently.

"I thought because you were spa-cial." He joked foolishly, Mikasa frowned, annoyed at him for ruining the moment, but she couldn't contain a small laugh, he is a fool, a very charming fool. Ah, he reminded her so much of Eren.

"Mikasa, I never believed that someone could love someone so much. Even though it has hurt you. " Reiner leaned back on the seat, with a bit of admiration in his voice, staring at those small and curled eyelashes of Mikasa that upon hearing him lowered her head a little.

"Whoever loves endures everything, and I am very strong." She smiled with colored cheeks. Everything that she has done for love wasn't useless or unnecessary, there was nothing to regret or be sorry for. She gave everything she had, everything, she gave herself out of love. A true act of courage and strength.

"I'll drink to that."

"Besides, Eren was the one who rescued me from many terrible things, how can I not love him?" The passing of people only made her think of her happy past as sad, longing for those days when she was by his side. "How to stop loving him?"

Reiner stood up, carried Mikasa's bags along with the rest of the things and with his head indicated that they go to the Arcade to see those boys who could well spend the whole night there. Mikasa followed him silently. They entered, the four young adolescents approached curious and with a smile from ear to ear.

"Reiner!" The brunette caught him in a big hug. "Is your girlfriend? Why didn't you tell me you had a girlfriend? " She made a face. "It's not fair, something's wrong with me and you're the first to know."

"Gabi, don't pester him, Mr. Braun sure..." Falco spoke, the young man with ash blonde hair who stopped, blushing to continue but all eyes were directed at him. "... he has his reasons."

The other girl smirked, while the other boy with glasses adjusted his glasses, sorry to see his best friend blush at everyone's sight. Reiner quickly introduced them.

"She is very pretty." Udo said.

"Thank you." Mikasa replied, grateful for the frankness of the brunette who also seemed to be of Asian descent.

"So you just fuck?" Zofia asked with a very scary and serious look. Gabi jumped just like Reiner almost knocking the bags to the ground. "According to a study, which I read on the internet, young adults are seeking less and less stable relationships. This year the figure went up 16%." She continued.

"Zofia, just shut up." Falco and Udo said in unison.

"Well, in half an hour we are leaving so decide if you want to enjoy the games or talk about my boring sex life so I don't take you to McDonalds anymore." Reiner said.

"We aren't kids anymore." Gabi complained.

"Let's go." He took a step and the four teens who were already 21 ran to the games, accepting the deal. Reiner chuckled slightly, took a gun from the zombie arcade and with a wave, invited Mikasa to play.

They played the same game for half an hour, Mikasa crushed Reiner in score.

"Is it because you are asian?" He scoffed

"It's because you suck at everything, Braun." she countered by pointing the toy gun at his chest, touching that ugly gray sweater. Reiner took the weapon and placed it in the center of his thorax, right in his heart.

"Shoot here and certain death."

Mikasa pulled the toy trigger, "Bang!" she whispered to him.

Silence.

"Braun, you are crazy." and she began to laugh, so much that her belly ached, Reiner accompanied her in a much deeper laugh, drawing the attention of everyone present and even the teenegers who looked at each other in complicity.

After going through Mctrios, Cheeseburgers, McJalapeño and a happy meal, the four teenagers, Mikasa and Reiner got into the red 7-seat SUV. Mikasa climbed into the passenger seat, the rest of them climbed into the rear seats noisily. Gabi was chattering about how she beat Falco in all the games, but Falco just wanted to eat his cheeseburger in peace, Zofia checked her happy meal while Udo pulled magazines and books out of the trunk and talked about them passionately even though no one was paying attention.

"Belts." Reiner spoke, putting on his seat belt, everyone did the same.

Mikasa took a quick look at the old 7-seat SUV, a minivan that looked like more than those four teenagers because in the front glove compartment there were photos of them, the scent was shaped like a bear, there were books, paper everywhere. There were even clothes. The cushions were pink, anime stickers, and the dash usb cables were connected to Gabi's cell phone that played the music when the car started.

"Gabi, you already had to put on music." Udo recalled, "Since we have a guest, why doesn't she play the music?"

They all looked at Mikasa, Reiner winked at her. "Everyone chooses a song." Falco explained, smiling. Without being able to do more, she took the USB cable that Gabi offered her and connected her phone, searched through playlists and chose the first song she found. A gothic song in german.

They looked at her silently, Mikasa turned red as a tomato. "They're good." and Zofia started laughing and everyone enjoyed the song until it was Udo's turn to put on an anime opening and the laughs were not necessary; then it was Zofia's turn, who didn't hesitate to put on some rap from the most dangerous neighborhoods that spoke of drugs and mafias; then it was Falco's turn with a honeyed ballad of love. Reiner, on his turn, only chose one song from Gabi's list, they both shared a similar taste in music.

It was a laugh-filled ride, even when Falco put on a pop song that everyone sang. At the stoplight, Gabi stuck her head out to shout the chorus. Mikasa joined them, serene, watching the city pass through the window. She occasionally turned her gaze to Reiner who was looking at the teens in the rearview mirror.

Those teens were his life or so said the sparkle in his eyes.

She wishes Eren would look at her like that.

Reiner caught her looking at him and if his gazes had any special power, Mikasa would swear to feel those two golden orbs reflect the heat of the sun's rays on her, hugging her in an intoxicating calm.

One by one, the teenagers came home. When they arrived at the house of their uncles, Gabi's parents and before going downstairs, Gabi kissed Reiner's right cheek, thanking him for the day but Reiner only patted her head, congratulating her on her achievements in the academy. Gabi gave him another kiss, she said goodbye to Mikasa with a "take care of him while I'm gone."

They saw her go into her house and only then did Reiner start her car.

"Your address." He asked as he turned the wheel.

"Zone 032, Marley Street."

"Put your music on." He passed the USB.

"Just turn on the radio."

"Come on, I won't say anything if I don't understand your music."

"Radio." and without saying more, Reiner turned on the radio. A pop song dispelled the silence, [Sign of the Times](https://open.spotify.com/track/5Ohxk2dO5COHF1krpoPigN) made an echo. Mikasa saw behind the window pane, since when was it so late? It was already night time and the lights inside the car remained off.

"I like this song." the blonde commented out of nowhere, turning up the volume.

[We never learn, we been here before

Why are we always stuck and running from

The bullets?

The bullets]

Reiner hummed, eyes straight ahead as he felt Mikasa's hand grab his sweater, a little pleading for him to slow down and just drive, aimlessly through the city. There was no rush to get home, not when no one was waiting for you. Not when everything there reminds you of that person you can't get out of your heart and mind.

The lights flickered, fast passing over Mikasa's smooth skin that was lost in the flashes of the flashing lights of the rest of the vehicles that passed them on the boulevard.

[Remember everything will be alright 

We can meet again somewhere

Somewhere far away from here]

Her fingers never let go of Reiner's sweater, who, fixed to the traffic light, didn't notice how his right hand released the steering wheel to hold those cold fingers of Mikasa that immediately turned her wet eyes towards him in response.

His hand was wide and big and too gentle. The song kept playing in the background, their gazes locked on each other.

Reiner savored in his hand that cold, delicate and soft skin on her fingertips, she had long, slender fingers, the most exquisite hand he has ever held. What was wrong with her eyes so sparkling like a razor's edge, so full of love that they seem to overflow in the dark?

Green light colored the edges of his sight and things around her, the horns only echoing as the throbbing of their breasts shook their insides.

For a second Mikasa wanted him to come closer to her, take her cheek and kiss her gently just as he held her hand. Instead, he just wanted to see a smile on those small, reserved lips of hers, a smile for him. Just for him.

"IDIOT, MOVE!" A man in his vehicle yelled from his window, visibly upset. Reiner let go of Mikasa's hand and took the wheel and started off, without looking again at Mikasa who hugged herself, taking her attention outside, to those streets of blinking lights.

When they reached Mikasa's address, she got out in silence, Reiner went down to open the trunk and take out Mikasa's things who received them at the foot of the entrance of her house.

"Thank you." She thanked him without meeting his eyes, biting her lips inside. She wouldn't tell him to come in and have tea, she wouldn't.

"Rest, Mikasa." He turned and walked to the car, thankful that she didn't invite him in because, God knows, he might lose what little sanity he had. He opened the door and taking a quick glance at Mikasa's direction, he saw her enter her house, with that, Reiner didn't feel any guilt for having stopped. He got in, started the car, and left the radio off.

Mikasa watched him go from her window, he was also running away from her. Reiner and Eren were so similar, they moved away from her because they didn't want to hurt her with that untimely and impulsive affection so typical of them, but above all because her love was so penetrating and hot as the edge of a knife.

…

The following saturday they met again at the bar, they sang some songs together on stage, completely forgetting what happened in the car, however the friction became more common and more conscious. Sometimes they just saw each other in silence, separated by the table and the bottles. None of them let their guard down.

Mikasa loved feeling Reiner's big, warm hands on her back, those strong arms wrapping around her waist, and helping her off the stage. Reiner could lose his mind when Mikasa's icy fingers grabbed his cheeks and ran her hand across his neck to wake him from the alcoholic trance.

They climbed the stage, took the microphone together, sang [Dreaming Of You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIi_oOyqRz4), their gazes never separated. Everyone was clapping and yelling to kiss each other but they were both hard to crack.

[ _Stone angel_

__

You're a cold-hearted person

__

And I'm a sweet sweet lover

__

Does it mean we'll never get along?

__

I could heat you with a touch now

__

I could be your fire starter

__

Or just another number

__

_Does that mean the game is already over?_ ]

They sang in unison and when they finished, they went to the bathroom where they gave the first kiss that neither of them was going to remember completely, they only ended up against the wall, with the black-haired girl hugging Reiner's neck that held her by the hip. Feverish kisses, the fever rose from the tips of their feet and they felt lost in the heat of the other.

 _Ahh~_ if they didn't stop, they would end up tearing the fabrics that were squeezing their crotches. Reiner's hand ended on Mikasa's round butt that she never thought to get aroused just because he squeezed a little.

She moaned as she felt his hand travel under her skirt, his mouth caught her neck, Mikasa threw her head back, Reiner would devour her all if she kept rubbing her crotch against his.

Mikasa took off her pantyhose, he took off his belt and unzipped it. On the sink of the girls' bathroom, Reiner penetrated her without measuring words and Mikasa thanked him in content moans, their mouths seemed to be consumed in a fire, kissing, biting and licking.

Her legs caught him around his waist, she squeezed to hold him deeper inside her, barefoot and with her bra dropped from her, her bare breasts appreciated the touch of his bare abdomen.

Mikasa hugged him, at any moment he would run away from her too, but she didn't care, she just wanted these strokes to make her cry with pleasure rather than pain. And so it was, she cried, she screamed his name and saw lights still with her eyes closed as he continued to kiss her at the base of her neck.

She woke up. She squeezed her legs, looked around her and there he was, sipping a dry rum while he watched her wake up, at the table near the stage. Mikasa squeezed her legs again, she still had her stockings, her breasts in the cups of her bra, her slippers at her feet and he was outside, not knowing that she had just had a shameless wet dream with him, in the bathroom of the girls. She felt her face boil with shame, could she have spoken in her sleep?

"Sleep, you drank too much." He spoke with a smile full of affection, bringing his hand to Mikasa's head that she closed her eyes waiting for his touch and when his palm caressed her, Mikasa fell asleep again, she was certain that when she woke up he would still be there.


	2. Burning Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Many things happen, one: they kiss.
> 
> HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIKASA MY LOVE! (and Falco too xD)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Disclaimer** : The song lyrics are NOT mine, belongs to their corresponding compositors/authors and record labels.
> 
> I'm not a native english speaker so I may have a lot of mistakes! Your corrections would help me a lot. Thanks~

The following week, two weeks before Sasha's wedding, Mikasa met with Reiner to buy a gift for her best friend, after that they would go singing at the bar. They ate street hot dogs, walked in the park, looked at the fountains, and decided that the best gift would be an industrial blender along with free food coupons from a supermarket; They talked about the weather and why The Goonies was the best children's movie in the world.

Reiner had left work early, he had worked overtime the past few days when Mikasa asked for his help so he could pick her up from work. On the other hand, Mikasa decided to leave at the time of departure for the first time. Although Levi didn't want to bother asking about the sudden change, he still did. Mikasa only said that she would go buy Sasha's gift, but Levi knew instantly that she was telling him the half truth and was surprised to see Mikasa get into the car from a stranger she seemed to know very well.

So there the two of them were, in the park at night, eating stray hot dogs, standing, watching the dancing fountains. Reiner had a bruise on his right cheekbone which caused the brunette to laugh but she carefully ran her finger over the purple and swollen area.

"A street fight or with a co-worker?" She finally questioned, after finishing her greasy and very delicious hot dog. The blonde just made an uncomfortable face, scratching the gray beanie that he had.

"A client." He replied defeated. "Clients who owe 20 years of taxes to the Treasury are exceptionally rude." He scratched his cheek, a tic when he felt embarrassed. "An old man lost his temper hearing how much he owed, and his cane ended up in my face." He looked at her with a forced smile. "Don't mess with people's money, but that's what my job is about."

"What did you do?" she asked surprised, it's true that there are ungrateful and rude customers, but hitting someone with a metal cane is another level.

"Besides ice, a well deserved half hour break in the cafeteria." He winked at her, as if that was a great reward. Mikasa just looked a little upset but glad to see him in good mood. Of all the blows in his life, this was surely the softest of hims, which made her curious about his past.

"Uhm." she started, thinking her question which made Reiner interested. "What does it take to be a military man?" Reiner slightly opened his mouth, surprised by the question that Mikasa softened, something unusual for her but he wouldn't miss the opportunity of this moment. Placing his gray beanie on Mikasa's head, Reiner stood in front of her, parted his coat a little and with his right arm on his chest, Reiner looked at her with a serious but friendly look. Mikasa just watched curious.

"Be stupid." He slurred the words a little, deepening his voice. Mikasa first analyzed what happened, then she smiled when she realized the reference and then she began to chuckle for long 5 minutes, so much so that she had to hold onto Reiner's coat that he joined her.

"You are an idiot, Braun." She chided, wiping the tears from her eyes. "You aren't as charming as Rocky Balboa."

"So you are a Rocky fan?" He said surprised and pleased that he didn't really look like an idiot.

"Yes, Eren loved it."

The smiles faded from their faces. Mikasa looked at the ground, Reiner cleared his throat, he didn't mean to make her remember that man she adored, so with one hand on his hip, he had to solve this no matter how embarrassing it would be.

Before pulling away from her, he took off the gray cuffed beanie and tossed it away, taking a few steps away from her. "Mkaesá! Mykaesá! " He screamed gravely as if he didn't see her, the rest of the people passing by just looked at him, some laughed. Mikasa glanced at the people who looked at him and then looked at her, "Mykaesá!" He screamed again. Mikasa remembered that she loved that movie and not just because she saw it with Eren.

"Rayneer!" she yelled, running to her side albeit with an expressionless face. Reiner's hands reached for her and took her by the forearms. Mikasa barely held back her laughter, he was taking her role seriously. He was a good actor, he took everything seriously.

"Where's your hat?" He asked sweetly. Mikasa burst into laughter, Reiner released her and ran for his beanie, he put it on Mikasa, again. Glad to see her laugh, it doesn't matter if she was a lousy stone-faced actress. He was aware that he could make a fool of himself all the time just to see her with a smile.

Once she calmed down, they walked around the park talking about Rocky. Mikasa had the position that the first was insurmountable, but Reiner argued that all the films were all good and that even the fifth was just as good as the first movie; they talked about what character they would be in the saga. Mikasa would be Drago and Reiner would undoubtedly be Paulie. Reiner mentioned that there was a small cinema that brought the classics and that he was going to check the billboard to see one of Rocky together, but it wasn't a date. No, Mikasa had been blunt when she told him that they had to go to an ice rink, maybe that could be considered a date, but it was certainly just a two friends' outing for drinks.

When the clock struck 9 p.m., they went to karaoke for a while where they only had two cocktails each and sang the two Survivor songs that were in the Rocky movies: Eye of Tiger and Burning Heart. Mikasa took the microphone first and sang [Eyes of Tiger](https://open.spotify.com/track/2HHtWyy5CgaQbC7XSoOb0e) at the top of her lungs, pulling off karate moves: she was a black belt and junior champion in high school. "Goth karate-kasa" or so Reiner started calling her.

[ _Face to face, out in the heat_

_Hanging tough, staying hungry_

_They stack the odds 'til we take to the street_

_For the kill with the skill to survive_ ] She sang energetically, still wearing Reiner's gray beanie. Everyone was laughing, but she felt good. She was a bit liberating, a bit nostalgic but she had a lot of fun and more when Reiner, on stage, doing backing vocals.

When it was Reiner's turn, Mikasa handed him the microphone, he took her by the hip, to sing [Burning Heart](https://open.spotify.com/track/2VN7uPrbryJ7nE2MXX3f9a) together.

[ _In the warrior's code_

_There's no surrender_

_Though his body says stop_

_His spirit cries: never!_ ] He yelled in the last sentence. He moved Mikasa from side to side around the stage, she just clung to Reiner's shirt, trying to keep up with him.

[ _It's the paradox_

_That drives us on_

_It's a battle of wills_

_In the heat of attack_

_It's the passion that kills_

_The victory is yours alone!_ ] They sang together, smiling at the euphoria by the song and the two cocktails.

The song ended, they got off the stage, heard another drunk sing, and left the bar, happy and in a good mood.

Reiner took her home and on the way he mentioned that they couldn't see each other on saturday at the bar because he would have to leave Gabi and the rest of the youngs at the military school, their end-of-year holidays ended and he would be with them all weekend at his uncles' house.

When they got to the entrance of Mikasa's building, he stopped the car and they stood there, Reiner just didn't want to look her in the eyes, not when Mikasa looked so pretty with his beanie on and with that blush that she suddenly had on her cheeks, on that scar on her right cheekbone that he was tempted to caressed so many times. Ignoring the fact that she was hugging her knees, bare feet on the seat.

Reiner appreciated the corporate norms of making female members wear skirts, and even though Mikasa wore black stockings, he had a good view of those toned thighs.

"Reiner." Mikasa's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. "Have fun with the boys." and she put on her black patent leather shoes. She adjusted her jacket, smoothed her short hair and took her leather portfolio, took the handle from it but before opening the door, she turned to Reiner with a shy smile as a sign of gratitude for accompanying her.

She got out of the vehicle and walked to the entrance, looked at him one last time before entering, unable to say anything. Seconds later, Reiner noticed that the wedding gift was still in his vehicle, in the back seats. He sighed, took the wrapped gift and went down in the direction of Mikasa's house. With his free hand he pulled out his phone and dialed, she answered instantly.

"I'm outside, you for-" and the door opened instantly, revealing the slim figure of her without those sacks and heavy jackets, a cat at her feet looking at him curiously. She looked at him expectantly, Reiner was slow to recover. "You forgot the gift." and he stretched his arm, bringing the gift to Mikasa's chest who looked incredulously at the gift and then at the blonde who was looking at the black cat.

Mikasa understood what was happening and adopting a stoic look, she took the gift from him with a reluctant thank you. Reiner smiled a little uncomfortable and taking a step back, he said goodbye with a slight wave of his hand.

The door closed and Mikasa fell to the ground along with the gift, hugging it tightly. Angry with herself for expecting something from him, from that man who is a drunk, ex-military, depressed, anxious, crybaby, mentally unstable, lonely even when he has a family that loves him, a huge idiot who can barely stand up but despite of everything, he smiled at his clients every day, grateful to life for seeing his cousin and other boys smile, who took care of her when she burst into tears, encouraged her to sing and accompanied her on lonely afternoons like this. That man who made her laugh, feel comfortable and who smelled of citrus: tangerine and lime. Cozy, loyal.

Her black cat sniffed her hands, Mikasa grabbed it so fast that the cat squealed in fear and hugged her along with the gift.

She had a problem choosing men.

…

The days passed and although it was sunday she had no plans. Before, she would meet Sasha to watch movies, eat at new restaurants and hang out with the other, but now they all made their lives further and further away from each other. Sasha was weeks away from marrying her fiancé who was a talented and loving chef; Hange went on a wildlife excursion with Moblit who is also a zoologist; Levi, her only living relative, had been married for over 15 years to his talented husband Erwin; Mina and Thomas married and with two adorable children; Armin traveled for long periods to Antarctica as a marine biologist to study marine life in low temperatures; Connie was on the cusp of his career as a mountaineering instructor; Marlo was even married to some girl he met at his bookstore; and Hitch, well, Hitch was happy being a millionaire heartthrob; Jean was beginning to date a mysterious woman he met on a business trip to France and Eren and Historia were going to be parents.

She didn't do anything on sunday, she just saw her cat running around chasing a moth.

After work on monday, she contacted Armin and they decided to meet to talk in some bar, in that karaoke bar. Armin agreed happily that he was finally going to meet his friend after so many weeks without contact.

Armin waited for her at the entrance, he was a little nervous to enter a bar, he was still a little shy but he had become a sweet gentleman that when he saw her coming, smiled enormously. They hugged briefly and walked inside. The host who already knew her offered them the best place, away from the noise of the enthusiastic drinkers. Away from the stage as far as possible. Armin looked at her with a bit of guilt and concern.

"Mikasa, how have you been?" He asked, notably concerned. Armin took her hand lovingly, understanding of everything she might be going through.

"I'm fine, I swear." Armin's hand was small and soft but strong enough to hold her in one piece even when she wasn't quite right. Armin knew it.

Armin had to speak the truth about when he found out from Eren's mouth that he would be a father along with Historia, who didn't regret having ended the relationship with Mikasa with those words of rejection and contempt; that he would continue with his small company and that he needed someone like Historia in his life as a companion. Those months before they finished they were already meeting secretly. Armin ended up in a fist fight with his best friend and that since then Armin has had zero contact with him and that what little he knows is from Floch.

"I know it's not okay coming from me, but Eren will carry on with his life," He stared at her intently, carefully holding her hand. "You must carry on too, Mikasa." he added with a hopeful accent. Armin always looked beyond even in the most extreme situations and that was his strength. Mikasa was going to respond but when she saw Reiner enter the bar with a girl she felt her heart leap out of her mouth. Armin noticed the change and looked where Mikasa was looking.

A couple entered, a tall blond man along with a short, equally blond woman.

"Do you know them Mikasa?" Armin asked.

"Uh?" She exclaimed without understanding the question, Mikasa only watched as Reiner and that mysterious woman sat at the bar, ordered a dry drink of whiskey and, very close, began to speak. Reiner had a terribly serious, gloomy look; the unknown woman looked downcast, tired.

"Mikasa, are you okay?" Armin asked, already worried. Mikasa came to herself and with a snort told him that yes, she only knew the man there as a matter of work. Armin only pretended to believe her and they continued talking but Mikasa occasionally peeked out of the corner of her eye, surprised that Reiner didn't notice her, concentrating on the whispered conversation he had with that woman who was about to burst into tears, but Reiner in turn asked for a bottle, he joked and although the blonde girl hit him on the shoulder, he laughed a little.

Armin joined her, looking exclusively at the woman. "She is pretty." he commented and Mikasa just nodded her head. "Will they be a couple?" the blue-eyed questioned, a little flushed.

"Go and ask them." she replied grimly, visibly angry at the involvement. Did Reiner have a partner? Was that blonde woman his partner, his lover, flirt or ex? So Reiner also liked... short blondes with blue eyes. "Armin, let's-"

"Annie, let's sing!" Reiner shouted euphoric, getting up from his seat, already a little drunk but the one referred to only covered her face, ashamed of being the center of attention.

"Shut up you fucking idiot." she took a drink, annoyed. "I would never sing with you."

"Oh come on, Annie, don't tell me you're embarrassed to sing in public?" He scoffed, placing his hand on the shoulder of the smaller one who glared at him. "I don't remember you being that coward."

"I will not do it." She crossed her arms. "Besides, the others are coming."

"If you sing, I'll be your punching bag." Reiner took a big swig straight out of the bottle, pulled his tie off by placing it on his head, grabbed Annie's arm, and led her to the stage. Mikasa and Armin watched them go up on stage, although the blonde woman objected, was carried away by the strong hold. "Annie, are you ready?"

"No." She replied dryly, but still took the microphone. Reiner tied the jacket to his hip and asked for the [song](https://open.spotify.com/track/4y1LsJpmMti1PfRQV9AWWe) that caused a massive blush in the blonde that threw the microphone at Reiner who caught it in the air and taking Annie's arm, began the lyrics.

[ _I come home, in the morning light_

_My mother says "When you gonna live your life right?"_

_Oh momma dear, we're not the fortunate ones!_ ] In the highest voice he could muster, Reiner sang with passion, wiggling back and forth with the little blonde who was dying of embarrassment.

[ _And girls, they wanna have fun_

 _Oh girls just wanna have fun…_ ] He sang in Annie's ear as she pushed him away from her with her hand, red and dizzy, all the customers looked at her amid applause, even those from deep down.

"C'mon Annie, it's your turn!" Reiner handed her the microphone and Annie, not sure what to do, turned her back on the audience to see the karaoke lyrics.

[ _T-the phone rings, in the middle of the night..._ ] she sang out of time, a little nervous.

[ _My father yells "What you gonna do with your life?"_

 _Uh, oh ... dear daddy, you know you're still number one_ ] She smiled at the lyrics, Reiner chose the song indicated. She would make him pay. With a little more confidence, she looked at the audience.

[ _But girls they wanna have fun,_

 _Oh girls just wanna have~_ ] She looked at a boy with blue eyes in the background, she smiled, letting herself be carried away by the song, a bit proud to feel observed by that stranger.

Armin gulped. Mikasa didn't want to laugh at such a show, but watching Reiner dance like a crazy teenage girl was more than she could bear.

[ _That's all they really want, some fun_

_When the working day is done_

_Oh, girls they wanna have fun_ ] They had taken the mic together, sang in unison, their hips moving from side to side. The drunks and not so drunk whistled, threw the odd expletive at the two blondes but were silenced by a couple who had just arrived at the bar, jumping up and down while singing from the entrance. They went up on stage, Annie and Reiner laughed when they saw them go up with dance steps included. A bearded man with glasses and a woman with wavy black hair.

[ _Girls, they want_

 _Wanna have fun_ ] The four of them sang together, holding hands, shaking their heads like in the music video.

[ _And girls_

 _Wanna have_ ] The bearded man picked up the microphone and took off his shirt, stole the show and the night.

[ _Some boys take a beautiful girl_

_And hide her away from the rest of the world_

_I wanna be the one to walk in the Sun_

_Oh, girls, they wanna have fun_ ] The extroverted man with the husky voice sang, the brunette and the two blond adults sang the choruses, dancing and accepting the drinks from those who brought the glasses to them.

From one moment to the next, Armin and Mikasa laughed at the show and burst into laughter when this funny quartet began to sing [Macarena](https://open.spotify.com/track/2df5QsXucx4VLiHNGusXD5). The man with glasses who went by the name Zeke began by gesturing very provocative and feminine movements.

[ _When I dance, they call me Macarrena_

__

And the boys, they say qe soi buena

__

They all want me

__

They can't have me

__

So they all come and dance beside me

__

Move with me

__

Chant with me

__

_And if you're good, I'll take you home with me_ ] He sang in a high-pitched voice, strutting his hairy chest.

[ _Dare a tu cuerpo aregía Macarrena_

__

Que tu cuerpo es pa' asdfghjklñ cosa buena

__

Dare a tu cuerpo alegía, Macarreena

__

_Heeey~ Macarrena!_ ] The three of them sang with effort, sometimes not even trying to make it sound like spanish but they enjoyed it with those failed steps that only caused more laughter.

At one point in the song, Annie and Reiner came off the stage, picking up the drinks. Reiner and Annie walked to the last tables, where, a little drunk, he noticed Mikasa. Surprised, he approached her even if she was accompanied by a man but the alcohol made him advance, Annie followed him.

"Mikasa, damn, I dream and think of you and find you when I least expect it." He leaned against the table, looking at the man with her. Small, bright-eyed and blond. Reiner took Annie as she screamed furiously in protest at his grabbing. "Look, both have smol blondies!" He said cheerfully, Annie just stared at the two strangers as she clawed at Reiner's face, pulling him away from her.

Armin smiled, Annie looked away, blushing. Mikasa couldn't process what Reiner told her and without being able to say something, she watched as Reiner took the bitter blonde as a sack of potatoes and with a "Write me!" he said goodbye to go back on stage.

Armin looked at Mikasa silently, smirking and the black-haired woman didn't know how to explain the blush that rose to her cheeks.

"So I worry too much." He nailed it, Mikasa had to explain how she met that drunk who loved karaoke.

The meeting turned into a show that ended when this Zeke tried to take off his pants, the brunette with long hair ended up crawling drunk all over the place while Reiner and Annie continued drinking until they vomited at the bar, apparently an endurance competition that Reiner won only because Annie threw up seeing him hold the vomit in his mouth. Zeke was singing Tarzan Boy from the ground even when the mic was taken away.

Mikasa and Armin drank responsibly while talking about their jobs and Sasha's wedding, but neither took their eyes off that strange group that at some point gathered at a table and solemnly toasted.

"For the Warrior Unit!" they heard them say and clinked glasses, faces darkened by bitter memories.

At the end, Mikasa saw them go, paying for the damage, Zeke and Pieck left in their taxis; Annie and Reiner staggered on the sidewalk, Reiner holding her as best he could. They spoke in whispers, she was crying shyly and hugging him, Reiner only lightly caressing her shoulders, also heartbroken. They took the same taxi and Mikasa didn't know what to think, clearly these two didn't get along, but he never wanted to take the same taxi with her even though they could share the ride.

When Mikasa and Armin decided to leave, they agreed to go to Armin's house which was the closest one. A little drunk, Armin only talked about how beautiful the companion of Mikasa's "friend" was, so much so that Mikasa accepted that she would ask if Reiner could give her the number of the blonde woman, but Mikasa was afraid that these two, Reiner and that Annie were more than friends. They arrived at the department of the enthusiast of the sea and the marine creatures that prepared the couch where Mikasa would sleep since she refused to stay in Armin's room.

They talked a bit more about how everyone was doing well at work, glad to know that despite the long distances that could separate them, they are still bound by a bond of affection that is impossible to break. Almost brothers, childhood friends. Mikasa couldn't be more grateful to him and his genuine concern.

She lay down on the couch, covered herself with the blanket, talking to Armin always reassured her. Her phone vibrated, one message, three, seven. Her chest heaved at the sight of the sender. Reiner.

[it´s late, sorry]

[but i think i saw you at the bar]

[if yo did it, yu safe?]

3:29 am.

[if i am crazy just ifnore this]

[igmore*]

[ignore*]

[heck]

3:32 am.

Mikasa immediately write:

[Don't worry, you aren't crazy, not at that point]

[I'm safe. Why are you worried?]

3:34 am

[u look sad]

[thankd, it's good to know that i'm not losing my mind]

3:36 am

[Losing your mind?]

[Are you OK?]

3:37 AM

[can call you now?]

3:41 AM

Mikasa looked at the message for a few seconds and answering a simple yes, she waited for the call that soon came in. She answered instantly, a little excited, a little curious.

"Mikasa, I think I'm going crazy," Reiner started from behind the line. "Today is the fucking anniversary of the death of my best friend who died protecting a scum like me and I-I was about to do something crazy..."

"Eh?" Mikasa stood up, alarmed. "Where is your friend?"

"Annie? At her house, I just accompanied her."

"Where are you, Reiner?"

"I don't know and it doesn't matter" Mikasa imagined him in a park or in a parking lot because of the little noise from the cars. "Today I was planning to kill myself, after spending a weekend with Gabi and the kids, my mother and my uncles, I left everything organized at work, I gathered my ex-colleagues from the military to celebrate and have fun for the last time, I agreed to accompany you to buy a gift for someone I don't know, everything was ready but… "His voice cracked, Mikasa clung to the phone when she heard him. "But seeing you at the bar made me want to wake up, put up with the damn job, relive the damn nightmares that won't let me rest so I can watch you sing a silly song to your ex." She heard him walk as he caught breath. "It's my fault, you know, I stopped taking the medicine they prescribed me, I thought I no longer needed it.

"Reiner, are you okay now?" She asked softly as she instinctively left the apartment, her heart pounding uncontrollably. "I'll go get you and we can talk about this."

"Mikasa..." and she felt how Reiner's voice became more... "I think I'm crazy and it's not a joke, sometimes I hear your voice in the sea of voices inside my head and from all the voices, Gabi's voice... your voice is the only one that forces me to return to reality; But it is not always like that, sometimes I see you in my nightmares, it seems that you fly with wings that are blades and you try to kill me. You force me out of my little misery, today just seeing you made me change my mind... I just hoped it wasn't my imagination, but it wasn't my imagination, was it?" Mikasa nodded even though he couldn't see her but he understood her silence as a comforting statement. Reiner sighed a little relieved, agitated in the middle of his aimless walk. "May I ask why you were sad? Tell me why those eyes of yours were so sad. What happened?

Mikasa started to laugh inside, Reiner was a very eloquent drunk. She wished she had walked up to him at the bar, invited him over to her house, told him what she couldn't say to Armin, told him quite frankly that she wasn't okay.

"I'm not fine, no." Hot tears fell down her chin, she gritted her teeth with anger. "You will think that I'm a weakling for crying as a child because my boyfriend left me for another more beautiful and incredible woman, that I can't get over it, but for me," she swallowed hard, "for me Eren was everything!" She cried on the line. "My parents were murdered in front of my eyes, I hid myself and although those murderers escaped I believed that I would never leave that hole in the floor, I was so afraid... but Eren saved me, took me out of that dark world and gave me a reason to stay alive. He took me in with his friends, took care of me and inspired me to keep going." She walked to the elevator, her hands shaking. "Now that he is separated from me I have to deal with the lack of him and with this love that he rejected." She clenched her knuckles, desperate and helpless. "What am I supposed to do now?!" She screamed, she didn't mind being in the corridors of the building in the middle of the morning.

She came down the elevator, barefoot, wearing nothing but pajamas that Armin loaned her. "I'm not okay, but I think one day I will be." She went out into the street, looking at the night sky.

"I guess it only remains to keep going, holding on." He added, defeated but with resolution in his accent, an accent that soothed Mikasa's whimper who didn't take her eyes off the sky. "Mikasa, are you on the street?" He heard the incessant passing of the cars behind the line

"Watching the sky." She didn't want to think anymore, not when the night sky seemed to glow from its immense darkness. Reiner instinctively looked up at the sky, a starless night and a new moon.

"Thank you." And he hung up the phone.

Mikasa knew immediately that what he needed most was to get along with the darkness and loneliness of his thoughts and memories, just like her.

Turning her attention back to the apartment building to return, she saw Armin standing, concerned but far enough away not to disturb her. Considerate and kind, Armin accompanied her only to take care of her what was necessary to put the pieces of her together because at any moment she would break down, he was vigilant. Mikasa still felt the warmth of Reiner's words in her ears.

Grateful she was there to save him, just like Armin was there, behind the glass door, just like Reiner when she heard him sing for the first time at the bar. It doesn't take much to save and be saved. You just need to be there.

And Eren was no longer here. Before he was, but not now.

…

The week was running smoothly, Mikasa had spent 3 whole nights in Armin's apartment just like the old days, just enjoying each other's company after work. When she returned to her house, Her cat, who had been cared for by her neighbor, caressed her as she entered the kitchen. She reinstated, turning on the radio while she prepared dinner feeling good due to the peaceful days with Armin and a cathartic call with the local drunk that made her laugh at his bad jokes.

She was humming, thinking of him. The last she heard about him was a story that came up a few hours ago, it was the badly framed photo of him along with the 4 teenagers on a beach years ago, the youngs were only children in that photo and Reiner was a teenager who had the body ideal for an NFL player but a military badge hung around his neck, his fair hair cut to the root, he was smiling gallantly. His arms hug the happy children. Seeing that story, she was encouraged to upload photos of her plump cat, with filters and many hearts.

Before long she received messages from Reiner.

[Goth fatass cat]

7:32 PM.

[Her name is Ymir :P]

7:33 PM

[hahaha she's cute]

7:40 PM

[Do you like baklava? My aunt prepared too much

so I have baklava in tuppers as for

two months]

7:42 pm

[Do you want some?]

7:42 PM

[We can eat it together]

7:43 PM

When reading the messages, Mikasa had to reread them again to make sure that he was literally inviting her to eat together. She would leave out that it would be preheated food that Gabi's mom gave him for overdoing, but the thought of having dinner together was nice enough to get excited.

[What about now? I am preparing pasta]

7:44 PM

[Perfect, today will be, I'm just getting ready to go out

and I'll catch you at your house... can you repeat your address?]

7:45 PM

After sending him her address, Mikasa ran to the room to put on something more decent, she didn't really know why, it was just dinner at her house. Her house. Mikasa was someone neat and very clean, but sometimes having the bed made was silly, no one would see it. She ran to make the bed, to tidy up her room. Well, she thought, he was just coming to share his homemade food containers and eat pasta.

Pasta! She ran downstairs, everything in order. She grabbed Ymir when she saw her walk across the kitchen, combed her hair a bit, and laid her on the couch. She finished preparing the pasta with some vegetables while she reviewed the last message from him that he had sent her: "I'll be here in 25 minutes." Mikasa just waited while preparing the table, it was the first time that he proposed something other than going to see Rocky or singing drunkenly at karaoke so she hoped to spend a delicious dinner with him, besides, she felt a little nervous, she never invited men to her house. Her male friends didn't count. Eren too.

When she heard the doorbell ring, Mikasa almost ran to open the door but kept her composure a bit, took the lock, removed it and opened the door.

Her phone began to vibrate, an incoming call.

Behind the door all he could see were those large, sharp emerald orbs that glowed in the dark.

"Yo, Mikasa, were you expecting someone else?" Eren spoke with a dull but curious tone to see her with that expression of surprise and then helplessness.

"Eren." It was the only thing she could say.

…

Without success, Reiner hung up. He couldn't get in contact with Mikasa and tell her that some idiot had hit him and that now he was waiting for a tow truck to take his car to a mechanical workshop and that he couldn't reach her, not when his insurance couldn't cover the accident and he almost have a fist fight with the idiot who hit him.

Mikasa didn't answer any of his calls, she didn't even see his messages. Was she mad at him? Should send her photos of the condition of the car? Send her more messages? Should he catch up with her in a taxi?

Reiner was bleeding a little from his nose and although it was only a small bruise, the anguish of knowing that she was still waiting for him or that she is upset with him, disturbed him more. The paramedic approached him but Reiner ignored him completely, he saw his phone… there was no answer, could something have happened?

Upon the arrival of the tow truck and the accident's insurance agreeing to pay for the repairs, Reiner decided to call one last time and if she didn't answer he would go to Mikasa's house just to see if she was okay.

He called and this time she answered.

"Mikasa, sorry, I had an accident and only now have things cleared up." He began, "I promise you that tomorrow I'll leave work early and invite you whatever you want, I'm so sorry."

"Don't worry I understand." She responded behind the line, emotionless, almost robot-like. "I hope you are well. Dinner is postponed for later. Luck." and she hung up.

Reiner's heart nearly sank in his stomach. Mikasa was upset and disappointed.

…

It was 10:44 pm on a Thursday night when Reiner received a message from Mikasa.

He was sitting on the sofa in his small apartment while he was finishing some forms and checking the accounts of a debt that should be ready for tomorrow, however Mikasa's message made him completely forget about work especially when he read the message.

[are you busy? I need you]

When he was going to answer, Mikasa called, Reiner answered immediately.

"Reiner, right now I'm drinking tequila on the legs of a hot lawyer and if you don't come get me I know I'll end up doing something crazy." She said clearly drunk and judging by the noise of the music and the bustle, she was in a club. "Come and take me to your house, please." she begged in a thin voice, uninhibited drunkenness assaulting her in a sudden heat.

Reiner heard the laughter of men in the background and without saying a second thought he took the laptop, put it in his briefcase, put on a coat and a scarf but without hanging on the black-haired woman who was laughing forcibly.

"Mikasa, what club are you in?" He asked over the speaker as he opened the Uber app and google maps.

"I'm in a bar called..." Mikasa turned her attention to the man she was sitting in, "what is the name of this club?" and the man replied, more drunk than she. Reiner heard him say 'Lobster'. "The club is called Lobster, on Trost Avenue."

"Don't delay!" A man yelled in the background and with that last word, Reiner googled the address and put it in his app and asked for an uber. Even though he waited for 5 minutes, it felt like forever. As he got in, he asked the young driver to take him as fast as possible and would give him a good tip.

Even without violating traffic laws, Reiner arrived in less than 30 minutes at the Lobster club. Thanking the young driver with a hasty thank you, he got out of the vehicle. He stormed into the club, completely ignoring the hoster behind him. It was a noisy club, full of teenagers, electronic music, a few office workers, and small businessmen gathering to watch the younger girls dance. He looked among the people, at the tables, he took out his phone to call her but when he saw those black bangs and those platinum eyes dull by alcohol and disappointment that made Reiner almost run to her side, to that table where she was sitting on the legs of one man, surrounded by two others.

Skirt rolled up, the black pantyhose squeezed her thighs and those heels that sank into the man's leather shoe was a clear sign that Mikasa wasn't telling lies. No jacket, the loose buttons perfect to see the straps of her black bra. She didn't laugh, she didn't have fun, she just drank and sank her heels deeper into the shoes of the so-called lawyer who said nothing because he hoped to get that "craziness" in return and that made Reiner furious.

Behind them, he approached Mikasa from behind, took her by the shoulders and whispered quietly. "Mikasa, let's go." and he, with a firm hand, took her arm and then encircled her waist with the other hand, lifting and separating her completely from the man who protested instantly. "Gentlemen," he said sarcastically, glaring at the three men with anger and contempt, "I will take this lady with me." He wanted to add more but Mikasa's hand ended up on Reiner's chest, caressing him a little, looking intensely into his eyes, pleading, appeased his anger.

Reiner put her on her feets and they walked to the exit, she finally looked away from him and concentrated on walking next to her, holding onto Reiner's grip that didn't release her and tightened her against his waist.

They left with difficulty, bumping into those who were having fun at the club, but when they came down the stands, Reiner felt someone take him by the shoulder and turning to see who had done that, a fist exploded against his face.

Reiner kept on foot, the blood from his broken lip fell to the ground, Mikasa clung to Reiner, watching a Reiner that she didn't know, a Reiner who spit blood and never winced and naturally his body had adopted in a defensive posture while he pushed her away from his side to protect her from those three drunks who wouldn't allow the blonde to go with that beautiful woman.

"Don't approach." Reiner warned them with that deep and dangerous voice. Mikasa recovered a bit from the drunkenness for surprise so she watched as one of the three men came up behind her. The other two men who faced Reiner approached.

Reiner waited for them to attack and when the first idiot threw a random blow, Reiner took him by the tie and with a closed fist he hit the nose, breaking it instantly, and then pushing him to destabilize the other man. Reiner propelled the force of his torso in the direct blow to the jaw. It was that lawyer and seeing the teeth that shot up into the air gave him great satisfaction. He turned his attention to Mikasa but she was in the middle of an attack, a simple but well focused jab to the third man's face.

Mikasa was cleaning the floor with that man, her blood on her knuckles made him wonder if it was normal to get excited about that when seeing her drunk and yet so terrifying, powerful. When she finished, the black-haired girl clung to his back.

"Apparently I worry more." Reiner said with a smile on his face.

"I'm glad you came, even though I never said I was in trouble." She commented with a bit of arrogance, without turning away from his back.

"If you tell me you need me, I will come. Never mind that you can kick ass better than me." Reiner took her by the hand and they left the place, people began to cause a scandal because of the small fight.

They walked a few streets down, Mikasa swaying a bit but Reiner's hand held her steady, just enough for her to stay on those stilettos.

"I'll order you an Uber to your house." He said taking out the phone but Mikasa's hand snatched it from him angrily.

"Let's go to the subway." She demanded with a frown. "We can still take it." Reiner looked at his watch, it was almost 11:50 pm, the subway closed at 12:30 am.

"Mikasa, I have some reports to finish."

"So what did you come for?" She questioned angrily, pulling Reiner's phone out of his reach. "You came to make sure I didn't have sex with a stranger because you don't want to make love to me?" She walked a few steps away from him. "I'm a mature woman and I know what I want." That last one made Reiner lose his temper.

"Shut up!" Yelled in response. "If you are very sure you know what you want then why did you send me that message? If you were so sure of fucking those three man, why did you call me?" He strode toward her, straight, a hard expression on his face. "Did you see your ex? Did you look for your ex and he rejected you again? Do you want consolation? Do you want pity by me and easy sex?" He took her by the shoulders, looked straight into her eyes. "Didn't I tell you to call me when you wanted to call your ex and we'd go to karaoke together?" His gaze softened, now his hands caressed her shoulders. "It's not much, but it's what I have."

A tear rolled down Mikasa's white cheek, she hadn't looked for Eren, she wasn't looking for easy sex with those men, she wasn't sure why she called him, but what she was sure of wasn't wanting him to let go of her. Her silent crying was the only answer to all those questions, she hid from Reiner's gaze, ashamed, hurt.

"Eren came to my house," she started out of nowhere, still with the blond's heavy hands on her shoulders. "But he wasn't looking for me, he didn't come to see how I am or to speak, he only came for some things that he left..." With a quick step, she threw herself at Reiner's chest, hiding the ugly swollen and tearful face of her.

"You need to rest, I'll take you home." His arms wrapped around her waist, it wasn't much but he wanted to help her.

"I don't want to go home!" she screamed as she pulled away from the hug violently. "I don't want to go home, I don't want to get to that big, frozen house, I don't want to get to where no one is waiting for me, where no one is…" She stopped, looking at the ground. "Even my cat left!" and she began to cry, covering her face. "I haven't found her for two days..." She wanted to stop crying but it only caused a tearful stutter. "Take me with you." She took her hands away from her face to look at him between supplication and an order, Reiner couldn't say no, not when those eyes almost penetrated his heart with a sadness that he felt so personal.

Reiner took her hand, pulled with strength and determination, walked towards the subway. He didn't let go for a second, he didn't let her get away from him even though she tried, ignored her questions and simply led her to the subway. The last wagon.

With her calmer, Reiner paid for the tickets, they entered the station that would take her to Mikasa's house but she no longer protested, she only obeyed when Reiner held her so tightly that the thought of opposing was comical, she didn't want to let go, not when on the last platform, sitting, Reiner opened his coat so that she could enter inside and cover her from the icy wind of the subway. Hot, Reiner's body was always this warm.

The clatter of the subway wagon on the tracks seemed to lull her, Reiner's breath close to her ear was heady enough for her to feel comfortable and sleep on the last ride to her house. To that wide, lonely and cold house.

When they arrived at the right station, Reiner took off his coat and placed it on Mikasa's shoulders, who with a slight blush thanked him. They walked a few blocks up, passing some neighborhoods in silence. Reiner didn't let go of Mikasa's hand that was holding him with equal force, fearful that he would release her from one moment to the next. He didn't let go of her though, not until they were in front of the porch of her house. Mikasa looked at him silently, he motioned to her to open, but she only looked at him with intensity, asking without having to open her mouth if he would enter.

"I'll accompany you tonight and help you find that fat cat." He responded sweetly, brushing the bang from Mikasa's forehead, who smiled in relief, agreeing with that. "Nothing else."

Mikasa knew what he was referring to, she knew that he wouldn't say it out of shame, to evoke the obvious, to incite what he also wanted, deep within his warm shell. Rubs, caresses, kisses, provocation, excitement and a lot of passion, making love. She nodded and opened the door of the house, dark, the two entered but when Reiner closed the door behind, Mikasa was already on him, kissing him strongly and he couldn't refuse those lips that were looking for him with a passion, to contradict himself and respond with same passion to that woman who hugged him by the neck and moaned with a single touch of his hand on her hip to her inner thigh area close to the groin.

The skirt came down to her butt, the heavy coat was already on the floor, the ugly scarf on Reiner's feet, Mikasa's shirt fell to her navel, showing the beautiful black lace bra. He took her chin, deepening the kiss that made them dizzy in a wave of heat that momentarily scared them both. Mikasa lowered her hand to his chest, searching for the buttons on his shirt and when she found them, she pulled.

The buttons fell and Mikasa had a free pass to the blonde's chest who let out a growl in response, a growl that turned her on like she had never been, why did the forbidden have to be so exciting? Reiner's heavy hand ripped through the pantyhose to access the brunette's wet underwear that she asked for a finger, a finger inside her folds of flesh, but Reiner only tentatively stroked the wet fabric while the other hand squeezed her butt.

They parted from the kiss, surprised but not sorry. Mikasa lowered her hand to his belt buckle and removed it masterfully, Reiner smiled although his smile disappeared when he felt her put her hand into his pants and Mikasa couldn't help but compare him to Eren.

When she did that with Eren, he would smile at her, congratulate her, caress her cheek. Reiner, on the other hand, was a playful by nature, a shy but impulsive man who enjoyed testing, tasting, measuring his caresses, or so Mikasa thought when she felt Reiner take her hand to bring to his lips, a gentle kiss that she would need for her whole life, although it was a gentle kiss on the palm of her hand, she felt a very different affection than Eren gave her.

Eren kissed her to excite and initiate her, but Reiner was a man who despite his rough appearance was a romantic who went slow, slow because he knew she needed to go slow.

Mikasa jerked away, scared.

"We shouldn't, it's not right..." Mikasa exclaimed a little scared, shocked and regretful, sorry for stopping that display of affection so different from the one she was used to. Reiner looked at her in silence, sighed a little exhausted and adjusted his pants and his shirt without some buttons. Took a few steps, stretched out his hand towards her. He lightly patted her head, as he patted her cousin and the youngs.

"It's fine, I'm sorry." And he released her. He walked through the darkness, looking for the switch and finding it, he turned on the lights to take the briefcase from the ground and take the laptop. "I'll use your table to finish my reports and then we'll find that fat cat." He sat on the couch, took out rectangular glasses from the same briefcase, and began to type. Completely ignoring Mikasa that she was adjusting her skirt and shirt, she didn't want to cry, feeling bad about playing with him. She sought him out because she wanted him to ease her pain, taking advantage of his openness and affection.

Mikasa understood why Reiner was doing so badly in life. The idiot didn't skimp on caring for and giving his heart to whoever stood in front of him and asked for help, whoever needed it. He always lost out, but he never blamed anyone but himself for being such a fool, and whenever he could, he did it again.

He gave and received nothing, he was fine with that. He never asked for something in return and if he did ask for it, he got tired of the negatives of people, circumstances and life itself.

Mikasa hugged him from behind, Reiner let her snuggle into his back until she, as a result of alcohol and emotional exhaustion, ended up on the couch, sleeping on his lap as she watched him do numerous accounts with a small calculator he had in the briefcase. Mikasa looked at him between dreams, she licked her lips when she saw him murmur long digits, he had thick and pale lips but still soft, warm and burning. Mikasa watched silently, more asleep than awake. Reiner looked like a nerd with those glasses, especially when he adjusted them to make sure he had written a number correctly on the laptop... Mikasa liked the way he looked, she also loved how his shirt looked half buttoned and how she felt his big hands on her hips and behind. She also loved the tickling of his beard on her palm and her cheeks.

Mikasa loved those kisses and those touches, she liked to feel him hard at her touch. She loved how he tore up her favorite pantyhose to touch her there, caress her, taste her. She buried her face in the couch, a massive blush recovering her from the alcoholic heat. She sat on the couch, hugged a cushion, without taking her eyes off Reiner who occasionally looked at her sideways, curious to know what was going on in Mikasa's mind, although he liked seeing her like that, quiet, blushing, hugging a cushion, deep in her thoughts.

"I'm almost done." He commented rushing through the accounts. Mikasa just wanted to lie on him and enjoy the night, the two of them lying on the couch but she didn't, she just hugged the cushion more. Reiner was a fool, he could take advantage of her in this urge of warmth and touch… but he was a principled, charming fool.

In less than an hour, Reiner closed the laptop, stretched out his arms giving a big yawn, waking Mikasa from the reverie who threw the cushion in reflex. He stood up, removed his glasses and stretched his back, tired of being hunched over for so long. He headed for Mikasa, recovered and strong enough to search the neighborhood for that fat cat.

"Let's go find your obese cat." He cheered, no matter that tomorrow he had work, no matter if he was tired, the sparkle in Mikasa's eyes after hearing him would be completely worth it. Especially when he saw her spring to her feet, with overwhelming energy. Mikasa ran upstairs to put on more comfortable shoes and grab a hoodie and when she came downstairs, she saw Reiner waiting for her at the entrance, with his coat on and without the glasses.

They walked out of the Ackerman house and through the small garden, they searched the neighborhood with their phone lamps. They searched the bushes and fences, the thickets of flowers and leaves. In the garbage cans, in the trees. At one point, one of Mikasa's neighbors came out scared to ask what they were doing and upon hearing the reason, he went back into his house, a little nervous. Mikasa never brought problems but the blonde who accompanied her looked a bit intimidating.

An hour later and two neighborhoods toured, the brunette squatted down, looked at the ground. "We will not find her."

"Is a female?" Reiner asked, his hand on his hip. It was after 2 in the morning and if so, they will continue through the night.

"Yes..." Suddenly she stopped to think, since when did her cat gain so much weight? She opened her mouth, a thought crossing her head. She stood up, took Reiner's hand and ran towards her house, Reiner followed her in dismay, asking what was happening but Mikasa was focused on getting to her house and searching among the closets and hot spots.

Entering the house, Mikasa released him and with a committed look, said: "Help me find Ymir among the clothes. She never left."

Reiner followed her upstairs, they searched the pile of clothes, under Mikasa's bedroom bed, in the guest room, and in the laundry room. There they looked through the washer and dryer, in the latter, there was the black cat with 5 baby kittens. Mikasa looked silently at her beloved cat who was already a mother. She caressed her with tears in the eyes, happy that Ymir hadn't left the house to have her babies. She would take care of her new kittens.

Reiner only looked at the mother cat who looked at him suspiciously but, despite her withered face, allowed him to caress her.

Reiner smiled happily, it was the first time he had petted a cat in so many years. Mikasa seeing him so happy just because of that. Now her house had 5 more members and a friend whom Ymir didn't scratch the first time.

After bringing warm blankets, food and water, Mikasa decided that she would dry her clothes using the old clothesline in the backyard. Reiner on the other hand had gone to the kitchen to prepare some tea for the two of them once Mikasa finished caressing Ymir and thus let her rest. She went downstairs, meeting Reiner on the island, choosing from a wide variety of teas, choosing the one that never failed and perhaps the only one he has already tried: Chamomile. When Mikasa reached it, the tea was already prepared. Reiner was checking his phone, had taken some photos of Mikasa's kittens and put filters on them, adjusting the color. Mikasa looked over his shoulder, curious. Reiner when noticing her blushed and locked the phone.

"You have nothing to be ashamed of." she commented, taking the cup.

"I know, just don't mention it." He took a sip, still red. They were face to face, Reiner slowly sipped his tea while he glanced at the woman he met at the bar who was now drinking tea after looking for a black cat. He smiled to himself, who would say that he would end up in such a situation.

"Reiner," Mikasa called, snapping him out of his thoughts. "Would you like to go to my best friend's wedding with me?" She put the cup on the island, her face was relaxed, so pretty and expressive. Reiner wished to see her like this more often but had to refuse her invitation with a slight nod.

"I'd rather not go." He answered quite frankly, leaning his arms on the island. He couldn't, shouldn't. Not after those kisses, he wanted more of those lips and caresses but it wasn't the time. Mikasa was one of those who pushed hard and then released. Indecisive yet passionate.

Mikasa looked away from him, biting lips.

"I don't want to go alone." She began.

"There are your friends." He argued fast.

"Everyone will be accompanied." She fought back, frowning.

"Go with the blond boy from the other day." He commented, crossing his arms. Mikasa smirked, was he jealous of Armin?

"He asked me if you can give me your friend's number... Annie?" It was a somewhat risky move, but if she got Annie's number, she could finally shake off the idea that Reiner and this Annie had something beyond camaraderie.

"He's short but he sure has balls to want to get Annie's number." He congratulated the blonde and unconsciously pulled out the phone. "I sent it to you by sms." Mikasa felt relieved and victorious when her phone vibrated in the pocket of her hoodie.

"I ask you again, do you want to go to Sasha's wedding with me?" Again, Mikasa took a sip and looked at him with a small smile. Reiner just sighed, looked into her eyes and knew he couldn't say no to her, at least not forever.

"I would like." He acquiesced in defeat, throwing his head back from his shoulders. "But keep in mind that you're inviting the drunk that is gonna end up singing some sad song in the wedding waltz of a bride I don't even know." He warned her. He's gonna try not to go near the bar.

"Thank you." If possible, Mikasa would hug him but she was no longer drunk and doing so now would be very uncomfortable. She wished she had a glass of wine to encourage her to hug him but she just watched him silently, genuinely delighted with this drunken karaoke-loving accountant.

It wasn't even 5 minutes later when Reiner agreed to sleep in the guest room, a room right across from Mikasa's. He said goodbye to her with a "good night", closed the door, lay on the bed totally dejected. Not even his shoes took off when he fell asleep. Mikasa stayed in his bed, staring at the ceiling, still and with a dreamy gaze, having someone in the next room was reassuring and welcoming. She passed her fingers over her lips, still trembling feverishly from Reiner's touch and those kisses that took her to another level of caresses and with that thought, Mikasa was left in a beautiful silence of dreams warm and unreal. Between dreams of green grasslands in the meadows and the streams of the dense forests.

...

The shower faucet was closed, the stream dried up and Mikasa woke up from the pleasant dream with a little surprise when she found herself accompanied at her home, however that companion wasn't Eren, nor was Sasha. Mikasa stayed in bed, hugged her pillow and remembered the painful night when she asked to Reiner to literally put a fin-

A soft knock called on her door. As soon as she could, she stood up and ran to open the door.

The first thing she saw was Reiner with wet hair, changed, ready to go. Mikasa wondered if those kisses, fondling and caresses were just a product of her alcoholic state, a dream that she didn't even advance beyond those kisses that she wanted to repeat in the dream world. Reiner seemed as if the night he lived was a very different one than the one she lived. However, when they met their eyes, he had a small smile, warm and somewhat embarrassed, confirming that they lived the same night. Mikasa, on the other hand, looked at him curiously.

"It's time for me to go." Reiner said. "I took one of the towels off the shelf, I hope you don't mind." He commented, pointing to the shower room, Mikasa just looked a little more curious. Reiner watched her carefully, attentive to Mikasa's short hair. His smile widened, Mikasa had crazy hairstyles in the morning and she looked adorable. Those bangs looked like cockatoo crests.

"Don't look." She said with a pout, annoyed, but Reiner just laughed in complicity, caught up in his little mischief so his hand got close to Mikasa's hair.

"Wait, let me-" and he stopped, his hand never touched the brunette's wild hair, regretting that he wanted to touch her almost unconsciously. Mikasa without waiting for him to touch or caress her like he did at the bar, grabbed Reiner's hand and brought close to her hair, Reiner only swallowed with difficulty but touched the jet-black strands, passing his hand from the crown to the beginning of the ear, over and over. He smiled to himself, satisfied. He brought his hand to his mouth, licked the tips of his fingers to bring back to the unruly hair and quell the static. He smirked when a bang finally fell into place.

"Hey, Mamma-Reiner, stop." Although she tried to sound nonchalant, the blush was more than evident. Reiner reconsidered what had happened, realizing his mistake. Embarrassed, he withdrew his hand from his side with a slam.

"Thanks for letting me stay." He started, fixing his shirt without 4 buttons.

"Wait," She replied, not knowing exactly what else to add. "It's still 7 in the morning." She added. "Why don't you stay for breakfast?" Mikasa didn't mean to invite him to lunch, but well, that's it, she did and she didn't regret doing it. She didn't want him to leave.

"I have to go home to get a shirt, I can't go to the office with a shirt open." He pointed to his blue shirt without the first four buttons. Mikasa looked more than at the shirt, his chest half uncovered.

If she were her boss, of course she would let him work in that state, but putting aside that unseemly thought of hers, she entered her room with, "I can help you with that." and then invite him to pass.

"Don't worry, you don't have to lend me your ex's clothes." He said, cautiously entering Mikasa's room, a Mikasa who let out an annoyed snort upon hearing him.

"I'm not lending you Eren's clothes, you can't fit in them." Mikasa said as she searched in a drawer of the closet. "I'm just going to sew some new buttons to your shirt." she said as she took out a small sewing box. Her expression of annoyance had changed to one of complete longing. She sat on the bed, silently staring at the little box. Reiner was in the middle of the piece, not knowing exactly what to do but in the end he decided to accompany her by sitting on the bed, admiring Mikasa's minimalist room.

She took a long sigh, opened the sewing box, and searched for buttons, blue thread, and a small needle.

"I didn't know you could sew, do you also embroider?" He asked her interested, looking inside the box that Mikasa closed fondly when she found 4 buttons that were different from each other.

"I don't know how to embroider, but I've seen tutorials on the internet..." She confessed, a little embarrassed, she generally didn't talk about her hobbies. "They aren't the same type of button but it will work."

There were two white buttons, one larger and thicker than the other; the third button was black and small that belonged to Mikasa's cute dress vest; and the last button was diamond-shaped, small, shiny, and gold. A button that she didn't remember how she got there, but that was perfect for Reiner. Mikasa asked him to take off the shirt so that she could work quickly. Reiner agreed instantly, he took off his shirt to hand it to Mikasa who didn't stop looking at the exposed back of Reiner who had no problem with being half naked in a girl's room, in fact he just sat there, staring at the ceiling, occasionally touching his forearm, looking from time to time at Mikasa who began to sew the buttons. Concentrated and staring at the needle, however, she sometimes turned her face to Reiner.

It wasn't the first time she had faced a shirtless man. She has lived with men more than women so she got used to seeing her friends without shirts but none of them had those marks, those scars all over their bodies.

There was a scar in the middle of his abdomen, in the pit of his stomach, deep and badly healed; he had bullet marks on the back, stitches on the base of his neck. Burns from the left side to his navel along with a large tattoo on the chest. Mikasa decided not to say anything, just watched silently when she held the button tightly to the shirt. Reiner seemed like someone completely different, much more intimidating, much more cruel, although in reality his gaze was a waste of solemnity, fatigue and a lot of sadness.

"Reiner, what happened last night," She spoke, fixing her gaze on the work. He watched her silently. "sorry. I was selfish."

"I'm glad we stopped." He emphasized crossing his arms thoughtfully. "I don't want you to regret having sex just out of spite. Plus you were drunk." He finished with a sincere smile.

Mikasa finished sewing the buttons but before handing over the shirt, Mikasa took out a gold colored thread from the sewing box and biting her lip, mentally drew a small sun on the left end of the shirt pocket. She began to embroider a small sun, she would apply her knowledge from those tutorials. Reiner watched her embroider at all time, curious to see what it was about until Mikasa cut the excess thread with her teeth, finishing the little sun that had nine peaks even though she intended to make ten.

"Is a star?" Reiner dared to ask, looking closely.

"Is the sun." Mikasa kept calm, it was obviously the sun.

"It looks like a star." He commented already more relaxed, really enchanted by the detail and the beautiful buttons.

"The sun is a star." she answered already annoyed, throwing the shirt into Reiner's hands who took it.

"Thanks Mikasa, from now on it's my favorite shirt." He took the shirt, took a closer look at it. No one else had sewn a shirt for him, much less a special embroidery, not even his mother, that mother he adored so much. He ran his thumb over the little sun or star, then pulled on the shirt.

He stood up, went to the mirror on Mikasa's dressing table to appreciate the little sun and the funny buttons. He turned to Mikasa who was still looking silently over the bed and the box on her lap.

He sat next to her and with a calm but deep voice, asked: "Can I kiss you?"

"Uh?" Mikasa looked into his eyes, felt heat rise to her cheeks. "Yes." and Reiner kissed her.

Sitting on the bed, Mikasa clung to the sheets and the corner of her bed mattress, Reiner took her by the chin, caressing her neck in passing, encircling her with that heavy hand. He kissed her slowly, taking his time to savor the sweetness of those lips that he might never again have the happiness to taste. It was a very different kiss from the passionate kisses of last night, this kiss was soft, it was tender.

Mikasa felt herself melt at his gentle movements, as she felt the taste of his saliva and touched the tip of his tongue for the first time that encouraged her to respond with that firmness and softness.

Her body was burning, she had started an internal fire that spread throughout her body. Mikasa hadn't been aware that she was only wearing shorts and a tank top, the fire eroded the tips of her fingers and her breasts. Mikasa brought her hands to her chest, she felt naked. Vulnerable under this man who at any moment could, in a single bite, eat her whole but didn't. She was enjoying a gentle, long kiss that neither of them wanted to end. However it finished.

They contemplated each other in silence, their lips numb and reddish, the traces of saliva were beyond a strange taste, it were but the delicious trace of two mouths silenced by a union that deserves another silence, many silences. Kisses. More kisses. Slow, smooth and exciting.

Reiner pushed the sewing box aside, Mikasa pulled him to her body, he took her by the shoulders, gently pushing her until Mikasa was lying down with him partially on top. With their eyes closed tightly, they discovered that a slow, gentle kiss was much better. They were in control, they explored cautiously, they felt every single movement, and it was just an innocent kiss. Without pretension to more.

Reiner broke away from the kiss, Mikasa bit his lip in protest but finally let him go. He smiled, amused.

"It's getting late." It was what he said when he got up from the bed, smoothed his shirt, looking at the shirt again. "Thanks again."

"Don't thank me and better keep kissing me, Braun." She responded with a pout, turning her back to him. She wanted more.

"Come on, get your butt up, I'll make breakfast." He stroked those unruly black hair that surrendered under his touch, Mikasa needed more of those strokes. She wanted more from Reiner and that scared her a bit.

…

Once Reiner left the room, Mikasa stepped into the shower where it took her 5 minutes to get out. Quickly she changed, she combed her hair, this time she used a little makeup although the blush on her cheeks was natural, she also decided not to wear stockings or pantyhose and just put on those black heels together with a skirt three fingers shorter than usual. Mikasa hated company policies forcing women to wear skirts as a uniform, but today she felt daring. She felt good.

Before going down to the kitchen that began to emit a delicious smell, the black-haired woman visited Ymir and her 5 kittens, kissed each one, caressed her black cat and went downstairs to enter the kitchen that she never expected would smell this way. She sniffed carefully, closing her eyes: there were peppers, tomato, onion, potato and bacon that she had been in the freezer for about 4 months. She sniffed again before reaching the kitchen, there were also eggs like all real breakfast.

Reiner had to lower the flame to see Mikasa who looked amazing. He wasn't surprised why she was the best real estate salesperson in her company, Mikasa was a woman you can't take your eyes off of. She's beautiful, proud, tenacious and with a drive that she scared most men. From the stove, appreciating her in that outfit could be a habit that he could have until the last of his days.

"Shall I set the table?" Mikasa asked, moving closer to the stove to see the saucer.

"Please." He answered returning to the preparation, smiling from ear to ear. Cooking, he liked to cook for others. "I see you eat a lot of vegetables." he commented, starting a little chat while she took out the dishes and put the pot on.

"I don't eat a lot of meat." She responded by pulling out the cups, stepping past Reiner. "What are you preparing? Smells good." She stayed by his side, staring at the food and then looking at him.

"Bacon with egg, I just added the previously fried vegetables." He commented with one hand on his hip.

Once the table was set and breakfast ready, Reiner served the plates, Mikasa served the coffee. With everything ready, they sat down. Before taking the first bite, Mikasa took out her phone to answer some messages sent by Levi, by the time she finished sending the message, Reiner had already finished breakfast. Mikasa's mouth twisted, how can someone eat so fast? Reiner noticed her surprise and was quick to apologize, taking the cup of coffee.

"It's a bad habit that I have. In the war we didn't even have time to pee." He explained.

"Well." She didn't want to add anything, she just took a bite and was amazed at the dish. Not only was it bacon and egg, the vegetables fried in paprika and black pepper gave a drastic change to the flavor. She wasn't a fan of meat but she could repeat this dish every morning. "It's delicious." She covered her mouth with her hand, the blush much more evident. Reiner drank from his coffee cup. A thought invaded his head.

"I'm glad you won't be alone anymore." He put the cup down on the table, crossing his arms with a face filled with relief or so Mikasa noticed. "Now you'll just be the crazy old hag with cats."

"Shut up, Braun. The only crazy person here is you." Without wanting to admit it, his unnecessary comment made her want to laugh but she kept her stoic face, she couldn't laugh when she has become the neighborhood spinster with 6 cats and a drunk-suicide acquaintance.

"You're right." He chuckled, taking the cup of coffee again.

"Whenever I see you outside the karaoke bar, you get a blow to your face." Mikasa pointed out, not that she cared but Reiner had a strange attraction to injuries and bruises. Days before he had a traffic accident that injured his sharp nose and yesterday he received a direct punch to the mouth by the drunk from the bar. Kissing him made evident the taste of the dried blood from the wound, a wound that Mikasa made sure to kiss gently.

"Now I look more like Rocky?" He joked innocently and Mikasa had to scrutinize him with her eyes, Reiner despite having that listless and tired expression had the sense of humor of a high school boy. Defeated, he just looked up at the ceiling, searching for a more serious answer. "Some idiot passed over, nothing serious." He replied as he grabbed a cookie, a fiberglass and no sugar. He bit down and grimaced, he could eat mud but that wasn't a cookie. He still ate half the package.

"What agency did you take?" Mikasa asked, finishing her plate and then dipping her tasteless cookie in the coffee and biting down. Reiner found that little habit adorable. "Reiner." Mikasa called when she had no answer.

"Uh, I," he looked at the table, recovering from his reluctance. "None. I sent it to a particular mechanical workshop, believe it or not, that SUV has been with me for 15 years. I bought it when I was in high school, I worked very hard at a used car dealership, even saved my lunch to buy that beauty." He said proudly, remembering those days when everything was simple: school, sports, part-time work and home.

"Why a SUV?" Mikasa asked.

"I was a kind of popular boy during high school, but few knew that I lived in a small apartment on the dangerous suburbs of the city with my mother, uncles and cousins. My mother and my aunt Karen worked in a textile factory, my two uncles worked in a plastics factory, my aunt Eli, Gabi's mother, the one who took care of me and my cousins." He sipped what was left of the coffee, Mikasa saw a strange smile on Reiner. "I wanted to buy a corvette, it was red and its only defect was an exhaust that it could repair."

"Why didn't you buy it?" Mikasa asked.

"Because I hated seeing my mom and aunt arrive tired after a tiring day at work and a long foot ride on the subway." He wore a sour smile, pleased by his decision but a little regretful, as if he still longed for that old worn out corvette he could never buy. Reiner smirked, looking into her eyes. "However with that minivan I also had fun, I picked up all my friends on weekends to go to the beach or just to fool around. I even had my first kiss there."

"And what else couldn't have happened in that vehicle." She highlighted it with a raised eyebrow. "When I saw your truck I thought you were a child depredator, but you just turned out to be a dedicated son of the family." She joked or at least tried. "I would have bought the corvette, but only because Eren would have liked it and because he and Armin were the only persons that mattered to me at that time.

"And because the Corvette could fit all three." Reiner added, pointing his finger in complicity. Mikasa nodded, amused at imagining the three of them in a corvette in high school.

"Eren, Armin and I were in a foster home. Always the three of us together, always united through thick and thin. It seemed that nothing could separate us." She gulped down the coffee with a very serious look. "In the end, time is what separated us. Everyone chose a different path. Armin decided to go to college, Eren went to work at a startup with other guys while I, well, I met my only living relative and he took me in as his ward at the real estate company. I had a natural talent for consolidating deals." There was no arrogance in her voice, just a fact that made her stand out among so many and for that reason, advance in the business without having to study a career. "I became very good, so good that I began to work more, without time, I could no longer go after them. I couldn't keep up with them." She bit into a cookie thoughtfully. "Eren and I started dating when we were 20 years old. This house was supposed to be our house." She looked away, avoiding any contact. Reiner looked at the wall, there were still the photos of the two of them.

_What was he doing here?_

After a few minutes of silence, Reiner got up from the table, picked up the dishes, and washed it while Mikasa cleaned up. They chatted about the details of the wedding.

"Anything you should warn me about?" Reiner questioned, expecting the black-haired woman to say no, but Mikasa nodded her head.

"My friends are very scandalous, when they see you arrive they will harass you." she fixed her hair, a little embarrassed. "One of them, Jean, may be trying to intimidate you."

"Why?" He left the half-washed plate to turn his gaze to Mikasa who was cleaning the table.

"He and I tried to date in one of the many breakups I had with Eren. It didn't work. So he will be a bit territorial." She explained, hoping that with that Reiner would not reject her invitation to go with her to the wedding.

"Okay." He cocked his head, imagining what this guy named Jean was like.

They finished cleaning the kitchen, Reiner checked his watch and when he saw the time his heart almost left his chest. 20 minutes to 9 AM. He ran to the room where his briefcase was, took it. "I'll take an Uber." He said while he asked for the service, a little calmer. "In 4 minutes it will arrive." He reported turning his face to Mikasa who came up behind him. "Mikasa, thank you for everything." He said looking at the shirt, one hand held his briefcase and on his forearm the coat and scarf while on the other hand he held the phone, in front of the door.

"4 minutes, perfect." And Mikasa took him by the neck, drawing him to her mouth. Reiner reflexively tried to object but when he felt Mikasa's lips press hard and savagely, he gave up and kissed back.

Still with his hands full he managed to take her by her thighs and draw her to his hips. He leaned against the wall, letting the brunette's weight fall on him, allowing Mikasa this time to deliberately take control of the kisses. Mikasa caressed his cheeks with her open palms, delighted to feel him under her hands.

"Uhm." She let out a small moan as she put her tongue in him that received her urgently, if the Uber took another minute, she didn't assure to let him go as in the morning. Luckily or unlucky for both, the phone alerted the arrival of the Uber next to a horn in front of Mikasa's house.

They separated, they looked at each other intensely for a few seconds and Reiner came out the door with a soft 'see you later' that weighed on Mikasa's heart, when would she see him? She saw him get into the vehicle. She already wanted to see him again. She touched her lips, skirt up to her thighs, trembling from the shock of the kiss and all the kisses given.

When Mikasa came to the office for a meeting, all the executives stared at her, even Mike and Petra stared at her stunned. Levi, who was the last to arrive in the meeting room noticed that everyone was looking at Mikasa as if she had some ridiculous costume so he looked at his only relative and dropped his mouth in surprise.

What he saw in Mikasa was beyond him.

Mikasa grew up as an austere, accurate and orderly woman, a bit impulsive in terms of those she loves, but outside of that, a focused woman without excesses. However, seeing her with flushed cheeks, her skirt shorter than usual and without pantyhose, not forgetting that little idiot smile she wore, made Levi prepare to go for his Swiss army knife that he kept in a drawer in his office for later search for that brat called Eren. Surely that obnoxious brat came to see her.

Levi sighed, relaxed, and began the meeting.

The meeting ended, everyone fled the office to leave the two Ackermans alone. Before leaving Mike told Levi that she smelled strange, something unusual. Mike would recognize a scent wherever it was. With everyone outside, Levi approached Mikasa who was preparing some income papers. Called her by her name and with her eyes on him, Levi noticed that she looked more relaxed and jovial.

"A date?" He asked harshly. Mikasa licked her lips.

"Actually, I came from one." She looked into Levi's sharp eyes, which immediately twitched, understanding what was implied in what Mikasa said.

"Wild sex with a stranger, uh?" He arched an eyebrow, crossing his arms. They were never close but he was a married man and seeing his only family suffer in love was something he could meddle with.

"No, a breakfast, coffee, cats and a few kisses. Nothing else." She stood up.

"Eren?" Now he was the most nosy distant uncle in the world but in love, he knew it very well, one can be a big asshole.

"No." She closed the folder tightly, took her briefcase and headed out the door to get on with her work day, leaving Levi behind. Levi needed a few minutes alone to talk to his husband Erwin about Mikasa. He needed to talk about this with someone. Levi didn't know whether to be happy or more worried.

On the other hand, Reiner, who was a few minutes late for work, was fixing the photocopier because he had thrown his coffee in the machine, he had lost himself in his thoughts about that woman who embroidered a small sun on his shirt and who had also kissed. He felt in high school, longing for a girl, wanting to see her soon.

"Oh shit!" He had smeared the ink on the paper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, I'm gonna remove this fic from FFN, some eliminators report me 'cuz the lyrics and the guidelines, so, I’m sorry. It has never been my intention to take the credit for the songs, on the contrary, I like to share and talk about these songs with others. To avoid problems I’ll only put short sentences of the lyrics and put the links of their official sources. This is what i had to do in the beginning but i have an impatient ass U.U so, I'm truly sorry. 
> 
> With that said, I also want to tell you to forgive me if I’m bad at portraying issues like depression and suicide. They are difficult and sensitive topics, however I have noticed that many of those who think about committing suicide tend to be very orderly and condescending: agree to go with friends, tidy up your room, send messages that had not responded long ago, satisfy desires of others, pay bills/things or finish something they started. Reiner is someone who doesn’t want to bring more problems, everything ready, his near death is unnoticed, but shocking at the end. On other hand, Mikasa who begins to develop some depression, needs something that will inject energy and reason to keep going and not just focus on the negative. I hope to connect the dots, but any corrections or observations are super welcome!  
> I was in tears writing that part ;3; but, but i hope it’s okay, if not, let me know pls
> 
> I love Rocky movies and songs. I can't contain my love for Rocky u.u Annnddd, Yes, a car speaks so much about a person, Mikasa prefers bicycle ‘cuz eco-fitness and Reiner is a dad per natura. I don’t make the rules >.>
> 
> I how Reiner is a honest, funny, strong man but very shy, guilty and weak inside. He's a man of dualities. Mikasa is cool, but at the end a lost girl who looking for where to belong without Eren. 
> 
> Songs in Order:  
> Eye of tiger - Survivor  
> Burning Heart - Survivor  
> Girls Just Want To Have Fun - Cindy Lauper  
> Macarena - Los Del Rio 
> 
> THANKS FOR THE BEAUTIFUL REVIEWS! THANKS FOR READING!  
> Specials thanks to: **Sally Cooper! sephta66! Kyriemryn! AkaYume! TheNightDuchess! for yours beautiful comments and support !** <3 <3

**Author's Note:**

> Well, this is maybe an excuse just to share my shit tastes in music but it was an idea that I can't get out of my head after listening to the Motorama song: Heavy wave. I heard it and I instantly thought of Reiner and Mikasa so I'm here writing more without finishing the other chapter of **Perdidos & Condenados**. However, it will be only three chapters, of which I already have the second and will upload this week >.< I need sleep but i hope you enjoyed it! 
> 
> Your corrections to my cheap english are greatly appreciated! It helps me practice and improve.
> 
> I appreciate your reading at this point, thank you very much! If you have time, listen to the songs ;3;
> 
> Songs in orden:
> 
> Heavy Wave - Motorama
> 
> Do it - Dlina Volny
> 
> Sleepwalking man - Sivert Hoyem
> 
> What kind of man - Florence and the Machine
> 
> Sing of the Times - Harry Styles
> 
> Dreaming of You - L'Impératrice and Isaac Delusion
> 
> Thanks again! See ya~


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